Another packed week with more daring fun than a shopping trip with Anthony Worrall Thompson so with zip, zero and zilch ado, here are this week's Zingers.
Zinger Of The Week: The Winter Of Our Discontent @ Arcola Tent, 17-19 January
Now is the winter of our discontent
Made glorious by Dusty Limits, infamous cabaret bard and compere.
Ok, so Richard III may not have used those exact words but he may have done if he had seen the bill for Limits' upcoming series of shows at Dalston's Arcola Tent. The Brisbane-born entertainer, renowned for his pithy put-downs and a voice which can span three-and-a-half octaves, has gathered the great and good of London's cabaret scene for The Winter Of Our Discontent, three nights of variety performances covering comedy, dance, drag, burlesque and circus. The all-killer no-filler double-figure line-up has more big names than a large print Who's Who and includes Londonist favourites EastEnd Cabaret, David Hoyle, Myra Dubois, Kiki Kaboom and Tricity Vogue. The show continues on Wednesday and You can read our exclusive interview with Dusty here.
Our parents taught us "if you don't anything nice to say, don't say anything at all" while Abraham Lincoln said that is "better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt." We're not sure which of these pieces of advice the participants of the London International Mime Festival 2012 are adhering to (if any) but they're back, bigger and better kicking off tonight with The Table. The show features puppetry in the bunraku style (that's Avenue Q-style for those without a degree in theatre studies). Continues until Jan 21.
If you only see one circus show in 2012, you really should get out more. Having said that, you may as well catch the best while you can as La Soiree reaches the vinegar strokes of its two-month Roundhouse residency. We saw them recently and can honestly say that we haven’t seen spectacles this big since Dennis Taylor started wearing contact lenses. We previewed the show here.
Its free entry at the Cellar Door so for a very round price you can do the Monster Mash with a cocktail and some lounge covers as couple Kitty La Roar and Nick Of Time perform their own entertaining laidback versions of rock classics (including Nirvana) over the gentle thrum of Kurt Cobain’s gently spinning corpse.
Meanwhile, the black beast of Soho that is Madame Jojo’s Bête Noire doesn’t disappoint this week with a bill including Madame Galina, Abi Collins, Agent Lynch and Tricity Vogue all hosted by the bawdier-than-thou wench that is Ophelia Bitz.
What’s up? 4 non-bland singers on a boat, that’s what’s up. Four Femmes on the Thames will be on Kilburn High Road's The Good Ship mixing song with story like a contemporary version of Londonist favourites The Ruby Dolls.
Cheesier than an EU Edam mountain, Freddie Valentino will be flaunting his porn 'tache as he and sidekick Holly Blue bring together a fine array of talents for their inaugural Karnival Of Kitsch at the Royal Vauxhall Tavern. Tonight's acts include the master of Judaic jests Lenny Beige and retro-pop's polyester princess Lorraine Bowen.
Ladies: if you feel like manning up and beating the boys at their game, head down to the Royal Vauxhall Tavern and induct yourselves into Wotever World's Female Masculinity Appreciation Society for a night of arm-wrestling, dancing and drinking. There are no big names but plenty of heart and style. Porn 'tache optional.
The best weekly night of cabaret fun just got better as La Reve announce a reformatted main show, a new after-hours show called The Late Set (this week with hip-hop hoofers The Correspondents) plus a brand spanking new aerial champagne bar. Dedicated followers will already know all this because you read it elsewhere...
If you haven’t see any panto so far, it’s not too late. With dwarf names like Fag Hag, Muscle Mary, Sub, Dom, Skinhead and Butch Dyke, you should have some idea of what you’re letting yourself in for. Snow White & The Seven Poofs is at the Leicester Square Theatre.
If you can make your way past door whores The Cloths, RVT’s Duckie is as good a place to be tonight as any as DJs the Readers Wives and hostess-with-the-mostess Amy Lamé welcome Russell Barr and John Paul Gibbs.
Today's choice: do your tax return or go see Swiss pair the Baccala Clowns's show Pss Pss at the Southbank's Purcell Room appearing as part of The London International Mime Festival 2012. And, yes, Baccala is the Italian name of seasonal favourite salt cod. You're welcome.
You may have seen all-girl burlesque troupe The Late Night Shop at December's Occupy Justice Cabaret night or at the Boom Boom events at the Old Vic Tunnels. Either way, the quartet of Apple Tartt, Charlie Buckitt, Dott Cotton and Alotta Bounce are going places (probably upwards) and you can catch them upstairs from Westbourne Park's Metropolitan pub at alt-cabaret event A Night Of Extraordinary Acts tonight.
The Royal Opera House is the non-standard venue for the next event of The London International Mime Festival 2012 as Japanese multimedia artist Hiroaki Umeda takes over the ROH's Linbury Studio Theatre for his culture clash of digital art, street dance and industrial swathes of white noise. More information on the show Haptic And Holistic Strata here.
Timberlina is the bearded dragster with balls. Big bingo balls. You can find him playing with them at the Royal Vauxhall Tavern tonight.
This week's video is an abbreviated dance version of Up n Over It's Hands. It's brilliant but be warned: it features flashing imagery and Irish dancers in their underwear.