All right, stop, collaborate and listen: this week sees some really rather good cabaret action from some of the greatest stars and biggest groups. With zip, zero and zilch ado, here are our zingers for this week.
Zinger Of The Week: The Boom Boom Club @ Old Vic Tunnels, Thursday-Saturday
We heard the rumours over the summer and we're glad they're true. The Boom Boom Club return to the ubercool venue that is the Old Vic Tunnels with an excellent and eclectic bunch of cabaret performers spread across two rooms.
There's Mr Piggy himself, Chrisalys; raunchy revolutionaries EastEnd Cabaret, tribal fusion belly dancing from Leah Debrincat, the Belsenesque Tony Bennett that is Frank Sanazi plus another two dozen high-calibre artists. There will also be music and treats scattered around the tunnels.
As we said when we reviewed the Boom Boom Club's July show: "if you want definitive proof that Britain’s got talent, vote with your remote by switching off your TV and getting down to the Tunnels." Go.
Timberlina is the bearded dragster with balls. Bingo balls. You can find him playing with them at the Royal Vauxhall Tavern tonight.
Unlike some London comedians, Kiwi comic Sam Wills has at least one funny gag. Known on stage as The Boy With Tape On His Face, he shows that he's no mouth and all trousers with a show which blurs that fine line between audience and performers. See him tonight at Wilton's Music Hall or next month at White Mischief's Halloween Ball.
Lady Beau Peep and her League Of The Extraordinary returns to the Brickhouse, serving up hefty portions of quality dinner cabaret. This time around, stars include gentleman juggler and Edinburgh award winner Mat Ricardo.
British close-up magician Chris Dugdale has travelled the world and he can be found at the Leicester Square Theatre throughout September. As you no doubt know, last week's Zingers had an example of his rather fine handiwork.
Raunchy revolutionaries EastEnd Cabaret return from the Fringe with songs of joy, fun, rape, necrophilia and ping pong balls. Not for the easily offended or for those who only associate "left-wingers" with Joe Cole, Samir Nasri et al. If you miss out on Boom Boom Club tickets (see Zinger of The Week), you can see them down at CellarDoor for a very round price.
We're not quite sure how something can be new and long-running but the Decades floorshow at Proud Cabaret sounds like good, educational fun for all the family (as long as that family is the Manson Family).
Baldrick's father was one and there was a famous singing one from Belgium but the best one you'll find tonight is Sister Mary McArthur (aka Tim McArthur) brings her show to the RVT. Nun better?
Northern star Myra Dubois is also back from the Fringe with a scowl wider than the Watford Gap. Her alter ego is back on the RVT stage tonight with Aunty Myra’s Fun Show promising “an evening of mad-capped, soul-destroying mayhem”. Jolly good.
Today sees the official opening of the This Is Circus exhibition at BOND, 24, Kingly St. The work of DJ/promoter Jodie Harsh and photographer Tim Bret-Daly, it blends visual art with live cabaret performance and music. Nifty.
There's some gratis giggles down at Rich Mix with The Gung Ho Down's Loosen Up as they line up improv comedy alongside bands and beats. Funky, fresh and free.
We spoke to them in 2008 and we saw them rock out at the Soho Theatre. Tonight, Bourgeois & Maurice will be setting Bistrotheque alight in a hopefully metaphorical sense with their pitch-black and stylish approach to postmodern cabaret.
There’s a tornado of tassel-twirling down at Madame Jojo’s tonight as Burlesque Idol sees April Dee Lite, Queenie V, Odelia Opium, Minxie Mayhem and Ruby Jones fighting for the audience’s approval. The guest judge is none other than that double dose of ballsy brazenness, Audacity Chutzpah. If you want to take part in future shows, drop a line to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Tip-top tranny Jonny Woo goes all eponymous on us with his The Johnny Woo Show at XOYO. Apart from the main man, there's also music and mirth from Teeth, Ryan Styles, We Were Evergreen and Yaoay.
Tonight, you can party like its 1936 as Wilton's Music Hall celebrates the 75th anniversary of the East End's Battle of Cable Street with a night of Cable Street Cabaret. As well as singing and dancing, there will be some electro-swing versions of Django Rheinhart courtesy of gypsy jazz band Manouche (here's a taster).
If you missed out on Olympic beach volleyball tickets, there’s still a chance to see some sporty flesh-baring next year with the London Burlesque Games 2012. In order to make that event happen, the man behind London Burlesque Week will be holding a themed fundraiser with international stars. More details here.
After the housecleaning, DIY and paperwork, pop down to Wilton's Music Hall who continue the Cable Street celebrations with a free show called "They Shall Not Pass" featuring Billy Bragg, The Men They Couldn't Hang, Shappi Khorsandi and Michael Rosen. Rah.
Here's a taste of The Boy With Tape On His Face from last year's Edinburgh Fringe. TBWTOHF will be appearing at Wilton's Music Hall this week.