Cabaret is back back back and in full swing. Although London Fashion Week probably has the edge when it comes to frocks and freaks, it is very much a close run thing. With zip, zero and zilch further ado, here are our Zingers Of The Week
Zinger Of The Week: Die Freche Muse @ A Secret Dalston Location, Saturday
You don't need to be mysterious to catch our attention but it helps. This weekend, international star Mr Pustra will be headlining what has to be one of the closest regular events London has to Weimarian Germany's cabaret halls. Mr Pustra will be debutting his new solo show Kabarett Des Namenlosen ("selected vignettes of desperation, transvestism, glamour and excess") to a crowd exclusively dressed in 1920s and 1930s garb.
Laurie Hagen (the best thing to come out of Belgium since Plastic Bertrand) will be duetting with him as well as doing her French mannequin act. The Hipsterville venue is disclosed only to ticketholders but do feel free to stand on Kingsland Road and look out for the top hats and cocktail dresses.
You don't need a big deposit or lots of friends to have a full house - you just need to be at the Royal Vauxhall Tavern tonight for Timberlina's Bingo Pub Night. There's music, there's prizes and there's a Cher doll. Who could want more?
There's a centenary celebration of magic at the Palladium Theatre tonight going under the clever title of Palladium Magic.
Anyone who used to play with tattoo transfers as a kid knows that they are fun but temporary, a bit like Ruby Wax's show Losing It which moves from the Menier Chocolate Factory (which still has the rather awesome interactive detective adventure Accomplice: London) to the West End's Duchess Theatre.
Lady Beau Peep and her League Of The Extraordinary returns to the Brickhouse, serving up hefty portions of quality dinner cabaret. This time around, stars include gentleman juggler and Edinburgh award winner Mat Ricardo.
Supperclub Volupté is where you'll find Gracie and The G-Spots tonight with a healthy serving of banter, burlesque and blues including brunette bombshell Kiki Kaboom.
British close-up magician Chris Dugdale has travelled the world and he can be found at the Leicester Square Theatre throughout September. See the below video for an example of his rather fine handiwork.
This month's Dr Sketchy’s Anti-Art School at the RVT will test if there is still life in your drawing skills and lead in your pencil. Materials are provided including paper and inspiration care of a number of burlesque beauties.
We're not sure how something can be new and long-running but the Decades floorshow at Proud Cabaret sounds like good, educational fun for all the family (as long as that family is the Manson Family).
Relax with a cocktail and lounge covers at the Cellar Door as couple Kitty La Roar and Nick Of Time do their own entertaining laidback versions of rock classics (including Nirvana) over the gentle thrum of Kurt Cobain's spinning corpse.
We too were once musical theatre virgins (it's true). But hark - the Fridiots are here to take us back to school via a sprint down memory lane aboard the Battersea Barge. Flyer here.
Meanwhile, the black beast of Soho that is Madame Jojo’s Bête Noire doesn’t disappoint this week with a bill including Laurie Hagen, chavette Kiki Kaboom and the bawdier-than-thou wench that is Ophelia Bitz.
If you only see one trippy tranny show this weekend, make it Johnny's Psychedelia. Alt-dragster Jonny Woo goes back to the future at Bistrotheque singing the praises and songs of the likes of Jefferson Airplane and The Doors.
If there's a better all-round weekly cabaret show than La Reve in London, no-one has told us about it (feel free to send us suggestions at firstname.lastname@example.org). Welcome in the weekend with ballet superstar Madame Galina, singer Ivy Paige and magician Christian Lee.
There's more CellarDoor grandeur tonight as the smallest venue in London hosts Friday Folies Bergère with comic chanteuse Vicious Delicious and burlesquer Bruise Violet.
Kate Dimbleby is at the Kings Place tonight belting out the Dory Previn Songbook. Yes, yes, we know about her famous parent but she is actually a very good singer and an interesting person in her own right.
The RVT's Duckie turned 16 last month and is still a Saturday staple for gays, fans of cabaret and gay fans of cabaret. If you can make it past The Cloths on the doors, you can shake that tush to the Readers Wives Fan Club between bouts of Sarah Adams and Spam & Beans. More information here.
More gay fun at the Drill Hall as 4 Poofs And A Piano begin their post-Jonathan Ross career. Good luck, chaps!
There's more Chris Dugdale, Decades, Jonny's Psychedilia, Ruby Wax and Lady Beau Peep. See above for details.
Read a book. Call a friend. Do that paperwork. Or go to bowel cancer charity cabaret fundraiser Up Your Bum at Madame Jojo's. Or all four simultaneously. Your choice.
Those of you with forward planning skills and a taste for the good stuff will want to take note of these upcoming events.
- Northern star Myra Dubois‘ alter ego will be at the RVT on 29 September with Auntie Myra’s Fun Show promising “an evening of mad-capped, soul-destroying mayhem”. Fab.
- If you missed out on Olympic beach volleyball tickets, there’s still a chance to see some sporty flesh-baring next year with the London Burlesque Games 2012. In order to make that event happen, the man behind London Burlesque Week will be holding a themed fundraiser with international stars on 1 October.More details here. Ooh.
- Mash-up maestros Pistol & Jack will be bringing their non-award-winning-but-still-well-worth-seeing Edinburgh show SMASH*GLAM*SEX*MUSIC to Soho Downstairs on 21-28 October. Rock!
And here's close-up magician Chris Dugdale, appearing at Leicester Square Theatre this week.