Roll up, roll up! There's plenty of cabaret this week and every one of them is a winner! With zip, zero and zilch further ado, here are our zingers for this week.
Zinger of The Week: The Blue Stocking Society's Bad Debutante Ball @ BGWMC, Wednesday
There's some midweek magic as the Bethnal Green Working Men's Club becomes the unlikely venue for the evil stepmother of all deb balls.
Blue Stocking Society founders Audacity Chutzpah and Tricity Vogue will be overseeing a night featuring gender-bending queerlesquer Mr Mistress, vaudeville hoofer Josephine Baker and jolly juggler extraordinaire Mat Ricardo.
The lovely ladies of the Late Night Shop Cabaret will also be there alongside Blue Stocking standards like the "notorious" raffle, tea, cake and no shortage of well-attired folk competing for the Grand Prize for the Best-Dressed Guest. Go.
Queer-lit salon Polari celebrates its fourth birthday at the Southbank Centre with the aid of masked marvel Marcus Reeves' dulcet tones. £5
Timberlina is the bearded dragster with balls. Big bingo balls. You can find him playing with them at the Royal Vauxhall Tavern tonight. A pound a game.
Coming south for the winter, Fringe favourite the Spiegeltent will be spouting forth a variety of acts every week until the first week of 2012. Tonight's Spiegel Variety Club gives an eyeful of hula-hoopster Pippa The Ripper, comedy magician Owen Lean and one-wheeled wonder Richard Sullivan. Free.
Tuesday night is alright for fighting according to the Eat Your Heart Out crew as they present their show Violence at the Riverside Studios. Not for the weak-hearted or thin-skinned, expect a conference of confrontational confabulators to confound and cause contemplation. £10/£8 concessions.
Ex-South Londoner and rather fine singer Phillip Jeays can be found on the Battersea Barge tonight. He’s escaped a Marc Bolanesque fate, wowed the crowd at Edinburgh and will be performing songs from his recent album London (great title, that) with able assistance from the Geoff the Speech Painter and Holly Penfield.
There’s an Office Party to end all office parties at the Pleasance presented by Duckie vet Christopher Green (aka Ida Barr aka Tina C) and La Clique’s Ursula Martinez. We previewed it here.
Someone invent a cloning machine pronto. As well as the Zinger Of The Week (see above), there really is too much good stuff happening tonight.
The best circus ensemble around, La Soiree opens its tent flaps again for another year - this time at The Roundhouse. Be the first to discuss around the water cooler muscled acrobats The British Gents and their pole action or what Miss Behave can do with her tongue and a rose. Clue: she's no greenfingered goddess. We saw it last year - this is what we thought. The show continues until 29 Jan 2012. £15-£65
Cellardoor punters will be at the mercy of Dusty Limits' barbed tongue as he makes a rare visit down under. Free
The Big Top Extravaganza is a one-off charity event in aid of Brain Tumour UK. Hosted by Belgian bombshell Laurie Hagen in a specially-made tent, she will be introducing surly sorceror Piff The Magic Dragon, burlesque star Polly Rae and the Hurly Burly Girls and Cici Darling as Frivolitease. £150
Amateur Van Goghs may want to pop into this month’s Dr Sketchy’s Anti-Art School at the RVT to see if there is still life in their drawing skills and lead in their pencil. Materials are provided including paper and inspiration care of a number of burlesque beauties with some fine entertainment mixed in throughout the evening. £15 on the door, a tenner in advance.
Those saucy socialists EastEnd Cabaret will be at the Arcola Tent with their barnstorming Edinburgh Fringe show. They were our last Zingers Of The Week and, amazingly, still just as good. Go. £12
If your cockles of your heart need some attention, take them down to the Royal Vauxhall where cabaret's Philosopher King David Hoyle is holding his current weekly session of Winter Warmers. Helping to keep it hot hot hot will be his guests Andi Fraggs and Zsa Zsa Noir. £10
It's not all Abba and Ikea, you know. Swedish export Scandimaniacs use physical theatre, music and improv-comedy to bring to life their show Take Me To Hollywood at the King's Head Theatre. They had us at Scandimaniacs.
Over in the Queen Of The Suburbs, you can watch more than the time disappear at Conjuring at the Court, West Ealing’s long-running monthly magic night which this month welcomes Jon Allen, John Archer, Richard Pinner and Katherine Rhodes. £10
The weekend already? Lummy.
From the writers of Dick Whittington – Another Dick in City Hall comes an early contender for this year's "Best Children-free Panto". Sleeping Beauty - One Little Prick twists the classic fairy tale somewhat with the comatose victim in possession of a personal set of crown jewels, so to speak. £12-16
We rave over La Reve - the Friday night extravaganza at Cafe Paris - and for very good reason. Cop your mince pies on this lot, for example. Host Laurie Hagen introduces Craig the Incredible Hula Boy, Luna Rosa, Millicent Binks, Mat Ricardo, So-and-So Circus, aerialist Amy Panter and ace accordionist Jo Below. £12 show only or £45 if you want a spot of supper.
We love parties, especially the ones we get invited to. The Andy Warhol Factory Party in Adam Street combines cabaret and kookiness with both bondage and burlesque to entertain while suitably-dressed and impressed punters look on. Start saving those soup cans up now. £15 advance.
Float like a butterfly, sing like Milli Vanilli: master mimers The LipSinkers are at Bistrotheque tonight. £12, £10 for diners.
There's something for everyone at The Wam Bam Club as Lady Alex rolls out decent doses of burlesque (Missy Malone), boylesque (GoGo Harder), aerialism (Rae Piper), comic songs (Loretta Maine) and comedy juggling (Mat Ricardo). £35-£90
David Hoyle headlines the Keeping The Faith Cabaret in Chelsea as partof the Sacred Faith festival. Appearing alongside him will be Dawn Right Nasty, Marcus Reeves and Natalie Geographic. £8
Poetical Cabaret at Streatham's White Lion blends burlesque, magic and music in an experimental fashion with guests Ava Iscariot, the Neo-Cabaret Project and KAYA. Bring lab coats, goggles and spare change. Free but donations appreciated.
Call your friends. Write some Christmas cards. Or pop down to Hipsterville where The Book Club will be having a performance and live art scratch night. Nice.