Boris Urges Fun Times For 2012

Our funkapolitan Mayor is telling the Olympic Board this morning just how fun London will be for the duration of the 2012 Games. Not only will the bus stops have Bus Tops and every borough be decked out in bunting but big screens and concert stages in Hyde Park, Victoria Park, Jubilee Gardens and Potter's Fields will provide live entertainment outside the Olympic sites (leaving genteel Regents Park well alone). Money will be spent making the key tourist hangout zone of Trafalgar Square, Leicester Square and Covent Garden a little more pedestrian friendly, easing the transition from Transport Museum to Angus Steakhouse to Half Price Tkts booth to Burger King and Avenue Q. In Boris speak, this will make London the "epicentre of fun in the universe".

So as not to burn his bridges with the Olympic naysayers, he's also keen to reassure them that the whole thing will be "over in a flash". However, his fellow Islingtonians are already being encouraged to leave the country during the Games by US firm HomeExchange, intent on hooking up mutually beneficial home swaps for its Olympic tourists seeking something more authentically London than a Travelodge bed. If you're not interested in the ballot for tickets, perhaps it's time to start thinking where in the world you'd like to be watching the Games on telly from?