Time once again to gaze into our crystal ball and glimpse London's near future. After more than a decade of publishing these predictions, Londonist has come to be regarded as London's very own Nostradamus*.
January
The Omicron variant turns out to be so infectious that even London's fairytale community takes precautions.
February
As Crossrail enters its final, final testing stages, a colony of endangered bats is found in one of the tunnels. It would be illegal to disturb them, so the new rail line is once again delayed until a bypass can be constructed.
March
7 March marks the 150th birthday of Piet Mondrian. The abstract artist spent a brief spell living in London, which art historians now believe may have been more productive than originally thought.
April
Spring arrives and coronavirus cases begin to tail off, but scientists present new data that suggest we're not out of the woods yet.
May
The eagerly awaited Marvel film Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness — partly shot in London — is released. Workers in Canary Wharf are alarmed to find that some of the special effects have been left in place.
June
Having lived through her Silver, Golden, Diamond and now Platinum Jubilees, Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II has exhausted all the obvious precious stones and metals that can mark a big anniversary. Rumours circulate that the 80th year since her accession, in 2032, will be celebrated as her Kryptonite Jubilee.
July
London 2012 mascots Wenlock and Mandeville come out of retirement to mark a decade since the Games. The years have not been kind.
August
A denial of service attack across Tinder and other dating sites forces London singles to try other approaches.
September
In response to a long summer of environmental protests, the Government finally pumps serious money into tackling the climate emergency. But questions must be asked about the £30 billion contract awarded to Backhand & Crony Technology Solutions Ltd.
October
After City Hall and the London Assembly move out to the Royal Docks, their old abandoned building on the banks of the Thames becomes the perfect Halloween landmark.
November
TfL's finances continue to freefall, as passenger numbers remain well below pre-pandemic levels. In response, London Underground commissions a new roundel design to reinforce the message that it has zero budget for anything, ever again.
December
A freak winter storm threatens to overwhelm the Thames Barrier and flood London. Luckily, engineers built in a 'plan B' to drain the river during such emergencies.
See how we predicted the year ahead for 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, 2020 and 2021, and leave your own predictions in the comments below.
*Sorry, that's a fib. Hardly anyone ever reads this annual article and we put it together for our own amusement.
