12 Predictions For London In 2020

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By M@ Last edited 7 months ago

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12 Predictions For London In 2020

Our annual gaze into the crystal ball... now in its tenth year!

January

Following in the footsteps of Waltham Forest 2019, Brent becomes London's 2020 Borough of Culture. The crowds flock to Brent Cross shopping centre and Brent Reservoir, only to discover that neither is actually in Brent. Meanwhile, Transport for London rolls out some commemorative roundels.

February

With Brexit now assured, Boris Johnson commissions a gloating message on the side of all large vehicles.

March

A new work of art is unveiled on Trafalgar Square's Fourth Plinth. The latest installation reflects the rich cultural history of the Square, and shows a man dressed as Yoda levitating above a heap of New Year's vomit and a dead pigeon.

April

Avanti West Coast admit their new state-of-the-art trains aren't quite up to spec.

May

Time for the 2020 mayoral election, in which incumbent mayor Sadiq Khan (Labour) faces challenges from Shaun Bailey (Conservative), Siobhan Benita (Lib Dem), Siân Berry (Green) and Sue Black (Women's Equality Party). Independent candidates Sean Bean, Sandra Bullock and Susan Boyle later enter the race, encouraged by their shared initials. Silvio Berlusconi wins in a landslide.

June

The Prime Minister is once again accused of placing misleading words on the side of a vehicle. And parking on the pavement. And ignoring double yellow lines. But who cares? He has funny hair.

July

The Geffrye Museum in Hoxton reopens as the Museum of the Home, to claims of dumbing down and bland rebranding. One wag points out that the abbreviation would now be MOTH. A flashmob of students dressed as lepidopterans storm the gates, intent on eating the soft furnishings.

August

Liverpool Street station becomes the first major rail terminus to offer accessibility options for mermaids.

September

The government's pledge to invest in the NHS bears fruit, as a fleet of new, yet inexpensive, ambulances is unveiled.

October

Transport for London decides to do away with bus numbers in favour of more memorable route nicknames.

November

Fridge to let

London's brutal property market hits a new low, as "compact, climate-controlled studio flat" is let out for £1,500 per month.

December

As the Brexit transition period comes to an end, the country crashes out of Europe without a trade deal. Those wishing to travel to the continent face lengthy queues and increased border checks. Fortunately, the government is prepared. Eurostar simulators are rolled out around town, so that Londoners can still get the experience of international travel without the hassle.

See how we predicted the year ahead for 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019, and leave your own predictions in the comments below.

Last Updated 31 December 2019