Oh, what a week it is for cabaret with sensational shows all over London including seasonal pop-ups, new Christmas shows and a panto. With zip, zero and zilch ado, here are our zingers for this week.
Zinger Of The Week: La Soiree @ The Roundhouse
Find space in your calendar for this show for verily, La Soiree will blow your socks and the rest of your laundry basket off. With a ten-week residency at the Roundhouse, there's no excuse not to see a circus show which is packed with the weird, the wonderful and everything in between including hunky acrobats The English Gents (right), sizzling skaters, crazy contortionists and dazzling hoop-queens.
We previewed it last week and, guess what, it's still amazing. Go.
Tuesday's Zingers
Booze and burlesque are no strangers but this sounds like a quality pairing: Dita Von Teese will at the opening night of the new pop-up restaurant Cointreau Privé.
La Soiree favourite Carl Einar Hackner will be going solo at the Soho Theatre with his show Swedish Meatballs. The self-proclaimed "bell-bottomed buffoon" is the Ikea Cooper (Tommy, not Mini) with chuckles and charm.
Jonny Woo recently celebrated a decade of public decadence and this week he curates three nights at the Patrón XO Café Noir. Expect afternoon mixology classes, an early evening quiz or bingo and then some quality cabaret.
Ever wondered what Thom York's grandmother sang like? See close harmony trio La De Dahs cover Creep amongst other numbers at their free show tonight at the Spiegel Tent.
Wednesday Zingers
If you missed them at the Arcola Tent, you can see the superb EastEnd Cabaret at the Cellardoor for a very round price.
The gorgeous Folly Mixtures start a new residency at Madame Jojo's with a night which blends burlesque and cabaret in the form of contortionist Amelie Soleil and conjurers Morgan & West.
There’s an Office Party to end all office parties at the Pleasance presented by Duckie vet Christopher Green (aka Ida Barr aka Tina C) and La Clique’s Ursula Martinez. We previewed it here.
Tricity Vogue's Uke-Off at the RVT is CANCELLED and the groundbreaking Burlexe is SOLD OUT. Just so you know...
Thursday's Zingers
Pop-up cabaret dining experience The Pale Blue Door hold their Christmas Panto Number Five from tonight until December 22 with Jonny Woo and A Man To Pet providing entertainment.
If your cockles of your heart need some attention, take them down to the Royal Vauxhall where cabaret’s Philosopher King David Hoyle is continuing his current series of weekly Winter Warmers. Helping to keep it hot hot hot will be his guests Veda and Jonathan Kemp.
Free fun and frolics as Stockwell's Cavendish Arms holds its Variety night with music, burlesque and comedy. Too many to mention but it looks like fun.
Burlesque hostess Lady Beau Peep is back herding a new flock as she returns for her Extraordinary Christmas. Follow the stars East to see Kiki Lovechild's funky furlesque, Luna Rosa's brilliant burlesque and the justifiably immodest Marcos The Marvellous.
Friday's Zingers
Whoop! Three days of circus fabulousness at the Greenwich Circus Festival with daytime treats for the kiddiewinks before something the adults are slipped into something more comfortable.
Also in Greenwich, there's tabletop tango, avant garde, a recreation of a Poe tale using music and pictures and heaps more dance as Greenwich Dance returns to the Borough Halls.
If you're going south for the weekend, pop into Croydon's Sacrebleu Cabaret where an impressive cast. One question to the organisers: how will Jewish comedy superstar Lenny Beige and the, um, right-leaning croonmeister Frank Sanazi get along?
Float like a butterfly, “sing” like Milli Vanilli: master mimers The Lip Sinkers hold their Christmas show at Bistrotheque every night this weekend.
Saturday's Zingers
The Boom Boom Club at the Old Vic Tunnels is SOLD OUT tonight but they still have tickets for next Saturday's edition of their latest season of underground cabaret grooviness. Unlike their first trip down under, this is a promenade performance so you wander around all three OVT tunnels to your heart's content. Between us and you: grab a ticket now.
Archway's Dusk Till Dawn (aka the new Archway Tavern) holds Labyrinth Burlesque with seven (count 'em) burlesquers already confirmed plus three bands. Recommended for "scene queens, teen dreams, glamourous girls, retro earls, fancy dress, dressed to impress, skinny ties, glittered eyes, fetish freaks, awkward geeks, those in drag, fags with hags..."
Someone Call Me At Cabaret at Streatham's White Lion is a Christmas-themed evening raising money for Music4Life. Turn up for the good cause and fab name, stay for the burlesque, baking and bands.
From the writers of Dick Whittington – Another Dick in City Hall comes an early contender for this year’s “Best Children-free Panto”. Sleeping Beauty – One Little Prick twists the classic fairy tale somewhat with the comatose victim in possession of their own set of crown jewels, so to speak.
Sunday's Zingers
Fans of ye olde but golde Radio 4 show The Sunday Format might be interested in Sunday Supplement as bearded dragster Timberlina and comedian David Mills (no, not that one) give the weekending press a going through.
If unashamedly traditional cabaret is more your thing, dodge some rickshaws and pile into Soho's Madame Jojo as Finger In The Pie do their own Christmas celebrating with a show featuring the lovely Lady Cheek, top hoofer Josephine Shaker, the Velveteen Sisters and Kitty Noir, all hosted by the cheeky chappies that are Moonfish Rhumba.
If you're wondering just how cheeky and chappy the Moonfish Rhumba really are, see below...