There's magic and mayhem aplenty this week so with zip, zero and zilch ado, here are our zingers for this week.
Zinger Of The Week: EastEnd Cabaret @ Arcola Tent, 16-26 November
Following in the footsteps of Frisky & Mannish and Bourgeois & Maurice, the latest greatest cabaret double act step into the spotlight this week as they debut their Edinburgh Fringe show, The Revolution Will Be Sexual at pop-up venue the Arcola Tent. Evincing more chemistry than the Manhattan Project, sensual chanteuse Bernadette Byrne and fab freak and multi-instrumentalist Victor/Victoria are the kinkiest commies you're likely to clap eyes on with a carefully crafted combination of louche covers and erotic originals.
They already possess an eager fanbase grown organically from their midweek residency at Cellardoor, the cabaret nights they curated over Christmas, a barnstorming performance at this year's Alternative Eurovision and their expert use of social media; in the lead up to their shows, the pair are staying in the Arcola Tent and producing a nightly update on their adventures via Soundcloud.
EastEnd Cabaret will be there for three nights this week and another three next week.
Appearing out of thin air, this week's London Festival Of Magic at the Bridewell Theatre begins with a marketing course in the afternoon before some live fun with John Lenahan and guests John Archer and Danny Buckler.
The first ever London Festival Of Magic rolls onwards with a session on card techniques in the afternoon with most of the tutors returning later for a pair of gambling themed shows.
There’s an Office Party to end all office parties at the Pleasance presented by Duckie vet Christopher Green (aka Ida Barr aka Tina C) and La Clique’s Ursula Martinez. We previewed it here.
The Heart & Lung Unit continues its successful formula of three bands and three comics for three quid. We first saw them in Brixton but you can now find them north of the river in salubrious Soho joint LVPO.
Chiswick's George IV pub is well known for its comedy club and live music nights. Tonight's Raising The Roof is a variety night with pop, opera and indie tastes all being catered for as part of a Cancer Research fundraiser for the nearby Hammersmith Hospital.
Alternatively, you can see one woman cater to multiple tastes at Madame Jojo's. Little Belter (Elouise to her mum) has a tiny frame which belies her wide repertoire encompassing Judy Garland, Lady Gaga, Bond themes and Dusty Springfield.
There's a tempting trio on offer tonight so we don't envy you.
The Double R Club is the place to be for a Lynchian take on the modern cabaret scene. There's a top-notch line-up this month with (amongst others) jolly jugger Mat Ricardo, magician and furlesquer Kiki Lovechild plus red hot burlesque from Ginger Blush.
The Royal Vauxhall Tavern sees the Philosopher King of Cabaret, David Hoyle return for his first stage show since he stormed the Soho Downstairs stage in August. The first of his Winter Warmer shows finds him sharing the limelight with Mickey Mouse-alike Marc Massive aka Massive Ego and thought prov0cateur Liz Carr.
If you don't find hard sudokus challenging enough, roll up to the Riverside as Scottee and the Eat Your Heart Out crew present Violence. Their first full-length show uses violent vignettes and confrontation to re-think concepts like "taste", "audience" and "entertainment". Pretentious, powerful or both? If you go, do let us know what you think.
Like a cabaret Michael Bay, Alp Haydar has brought mirth and magic to his fans through amusingly preposterous storylines and much computer jiggery-pokery. Unfortunately, his pride and joy has had its (micro)chips and ascended to PC Heaven so Alp is back on stage raising funds for a brand new machine. If you ever raised so much as a smirk at one of his productions, show your appreciation tonight as Alp's beloved box of tricks is sent off with a possibly Viking-inspired funeral-cum-cabaret disco aboard the Battersea Barge.
Highly-recommended supperclub La Reve hit their audience with a triple-whammy this week as they present neo-cabaret sensations Bourgeois & Maurice, acrobatic ace Stephen Williams and the Ronseal of circus acts Craig The Incredible Hula Boy plus burlesque from Missy Fatale and aerialism from Jo Foley.
David Mills blends song and sarcasm with a point of view both sardonic and dystopian. It may be the end of the world as he knows it but there'll be some chuckles along the way for the Bistrotheque punters.
If you crave more magic, we suggest heading over to the fortnightly Magic Night at Madame Jojo's. This month sees Barry & Stuart, Harrison Richards, Arron Sparks and Tricity Vogue will hopefully be making more than just the time disappear.
A bit like 80s comedy superstars Cannon & Ball but with decent gags and thought-provoking numbers, oddball all-male duo The Moonfish Rhumba bring their charming solo show The Chronicles Of Moonfish to the Leicester Square Theatre.
The London Festival Of Magic comes to an end with the mysterious Max Maven and his Thinking In Person show.
The Office Party to end all office parties continues at the Pleasance. Presented by Duckie vet Christopher Green (aka Ida Barr aka Tina C) and La Clique’s Ursula Martinez, we previewed it here.
A London institution reaches its 75th anniversary with a Music Hall Gala at the Leicester Square Theatre. The Players' Theatre Club has blended song and social history since 1936 and has brought together an all-star cast to celebrate another milestone including Ab Fabber and star of 70s/80s sitcoms June Whitfield.