London is awash with great cabaret and burlesque this week so with zip, zero and zilch further ado, here are our zingers of the week.
Zinger Of The Week is Londonist favourites Bourgeois & Maurice at Bistrotheque (£12.50). We've seen the loveably bonkers duo win last year's Alternative Eurovision, ascend into the fourth dimension and prove that they can't dance, spoken to them about their behaviour and loved their outrageous outfits, bizarre hairdos, homemade flicks (fnarr) and songs with more bite than Jaws. If you miss them this weekend, they will be at the Bistrotheque on Fridays and Saturdays for the next three weeks.
Wednesday Zingers: We think Prince would be making like Darling Nikki if he saw Agent Lynch's latest show Purple Rain at the Brickhouse (£10) celebrating the pixie popster's work through burlesque, circus, doves and a maybe a tune or two if you ask nicely. If you miss it tonight, the show runs until the end of the month. If you feel like going south for the night, Brixton's Dogstar will be hosting the Heart 'n' Lung Unit's mix of comedy, storytelling and song (£3) while Arnold's will hold a one-off musical cabaret event (£15/£12.50) in aid of Victim Support .
Thursday Zingers: Royal Vauxhall Tavern legend Scott Capurro assumes the Position again (£10), returning there with his weekly chatshow introducing Nicky Clarke, Mark Steel and Ian Shaw. For something quainter, you can check out an original Victorian bathhouse in Bishopsgate Churchyard where this week's Tassels Club Dinner Party (£45-49 with food/£15 without) has a menu including Amber Topaz and Roxy Velvet. If you want to keep your smiling muscles ship-shape, step aboard the Battersea Barge for Cheese 'n' Crackers (£7), a showcase of ten acts covering comedy, music and circus - maybe the best things happen at sea?
Friday Zingers: Tonight, you're spoilt for late-night action. There's a midnight film screening-stroke-pyjama party at the Rio Cinema (£7.50/£6.50 for those coming in pyjamas or as showgirls) as part of this weekend's Fringe! East London gay film fest while at Palacio De Los Muertos at the Bethnal Green Working Men's Club (£6) promises an evening of macabre mayhem featuring zombie-bop, gypsy punk, the Skeletal String Quartet and undead dancers (first act on stage: 10:30pm) and the Jermyn Theatre's Late Night Magic (£14/£12/£7) presents an hour of illusion and mystery from 10:45pm.
Saturday Zingers: The Fringe! East London gay film fest continues with mobile performance crew I'm With You (£3) taking over Hipsterville, N16's Vogue Fabrics haberdashery for a series of short and sharp performances from 4pm followed by all-night partying. Volupte Lounge's Bond-themed burlesque night called Pussy Galore (£25/£30) may leave you more stirred than shaken as might Sex Idiot (£13) at the Soho Theatre where Bryony Kimmings will teach you 68 words for the vagina as she turns her recent discovery of having an STI into a revealing song and dance odyssey through her sexual history.
Sunday Zingers: You have no excuse not to make Sunday your fun day as musical mashup maestros Pistol and Jack are back at the Soho Theatre for their monthly Sunday Service (£10/£6). Their guests this month are the younger, funny Des O'Connor with Tricity Vogue, burlesque star Harlow Heartbreak, and 2011 Musical Comedy Awards Finalist Mae Martin. If watching bootie-shakers is more your thing, head down to the Bethnal Green Working Men's Club for Fire In The Belly (£12 in advance), a night of belly dancers, fire dancers and the Johnny Vegas-sized prima ballerina Madame Gallina.
If you want to be proactive, tickets are on sale for this week's Rumpus Spring Ball (8 April) at the Islington Steel Works, White Mischief’s steampunk-themed Twenty Thousand Leagues Under The Sea (16 April) at the Scala, London Burlesque Week 2011 (26-30 April) and The Mad Hatter's Boat Party (1 May). Finally, 29 April sees the start of the new Udderbelly season which kicks off with cabaret spectacular The Alternative Royal Wedding Reception.
Have we missed anything great? Let us know in the comments below.
And finally, for your delectation, 147 seconds of craziness from this week's Zingers Messrs Bourgeois & Maurice. Take it away...