More Of London's Crappiest Benches

M@
By M@
More Of London's Crappiest Benches
Bench viewing compost

Poor old Pinner. This pleasant north-west London suburb is down in the doldrums between the hills of Harrow and Northwood. Yet it does command some spectacular views of its own. Just look at this bench, facing directly into an advert for turf, compost and topsoil.

This specimen, sent in by Dave McGowan, is a worthy addition to our compilation of Benches of Laughable Outlooks, or BOLOks. And here's another from Dave, this time in Hornchurch Country Park, to the far east of London.

The park is an award-winning wildlife reserve, with sweeping vistas of wetland habitat. But you can ignore all that, and admire this barbed-wire fence and scrappy hedge, thanks to this prize BOLOk.

Dave has trekked all over the capital in search of the ludicrous. His third contribution is from Eltham in south-east London.

This is a winning BOLOk for three reasons: (1) it faces onto a shuttered shop; (2) it offers philosophical contemplation in the message 'Just Be...'; (3) it appears to be blocking a pedestrian crossing. Triple points!

(By way of thanks to Dave, we're happy to point you all towards his London-based book and spoken-word night, which both sound very good.)

St george's tooting

The esteemed Don Brown, director of the London Society, nominates the above view of St George's hospital, Tooting as his favourite BOLOk. We're seeing the hospital building in its most intriguing light, complete with emergency exit, mirrored windows, air-conditioning units and utility access cover. We particularly like the ha-ha landscape feature, which hides the base of the building from view.

Finally, Alexander Milas reminds us of this treasure in Hammersmith. The seat offers full view of the entire length of this traffic island on the A219 gyratory system. It also has celebrity endorsement. The BOLOk carries a plaque to the late, great Rik Mayall, who filmed the memorable opening scenes to sitcom Bottom on a bench in Hammersmith. It's what he would have wanted.

Have you spotted a bench with a truly awful view? Because we're totally going to do a part 3 if enough people come forward. Either leave a contribution in the comments, or email matt@londonist.com with your photo.

See part 1 here.

Last Updated 30 October 2019