Damn it, couldn't they have held the election two days earlier? Imagine the fancy dress opportunities of combining politics with Star Wars Day ('May the Fourth be with you'.) Never mind. There's still plenty going on around town if you'd rather eschew Paxo, Vine, Dimbledore and assorted Snows in favour of booze and boos.
Bethnal Green Working Men's Club is putting on an extravaganza that, ironically, is only suitable for those without work the next day. A giant screen to watch the results, an all-night licence, a nine-hour comedy marathon including acts such as Robin Ince and Josie Long and, ominously, 'no end to the party until the next government is formed (however long that may take)!'. Tickets, £8.
Those of more sober bent can attempt to attend the London School of Economics' night of analysis. A rolling team of experts and thought leaders will discuss the state of the nation while keeping an eye on incoming results. The event is by invitation only, but there is a contact address if you want to try and get yourself on the list.
Naturally, Bompas and Parr's Parliamentary Waffle House have lined up some political fun for their swansong evening. The Broadwick Street political pop-up will host an all-night party for £20 (includes as much waffle as you can stomach). Just go easy on the Prescott punch.
If you're after a more classy affair, Brown's Hotel (no relation - to either the PM or, alas, your humble editor) are putting on a show with their own late-night election party. They've lined up a whole menu of pun-tastic cocktails (floating voter, maggie-rita...) and will show all the action on large TVs. For those not worried about swingeing post-election cuts and budgetary woes, the hotel are offering special election night rooms for £330.
If, come 7 May, you're still left wanting more, two theatrical productions are waiting in the wings to offer a response. On 8 May, the New Players Theatre will stage a hastily written, cast and rehearsed drama based on the events of just two days before (tickets £10). We hope the new government work with similar alacrity. The Cock Tavern Theatre, Kilburn, by contrast, leave performance of Dan Muirden and Jamie Harper's SWING until 22 May. Tickets for this one are £12, and the show runs until 12 June.