I have been interested in recent newspaper reports suggesting I had lost, or was about to lose, one leg, two legs, an arm, a head - some people suggesting this went some time ago! - or even a fingernail. I am happy to tell you that, when I last looked, all of these items appeared solidly where they have been for many years.
Michael Winner on rumours that he’d had a limb amputated. January 19 2007.
…these are most probably the worst business people ever assembled in one place to run anything..... I think they should be sacked, hung drawn and quartered, thrown out of the country and the whole thing [the London Underground] returned to public ownership.
Ken Livingstone on the failed management of Metronet. Mayor’s press conference, 13 March 2007
If you ask me what I actually do to earn my consultancy, I'd have to tell you, in all honesty, not very much.
Bob Kiley, transport advisor, justifying his whopping consultancy fees. 29 March 2007
I make the law on my bus.
Alleged comment from a bus driver who abandoned four young girls in a car park at night.
6 May 2007.
Like Lisa Simpson giving head
Common reaction to the 2012 Olympic brand. 4 June 2007
I wouldn't pay them a penny.
Ken Livingstone on the makers of the 2012 brand film that provoked 22 epileptic fits. 7 June 2007
Young players are a little bit like melons. Only when you open and taste the melon are you 100 per cent sure that the melon is good. Sometimes you have beautiful melons but they don't taste very good and some other melons are a bit ugly and when you open them, the taste is fantastic… For example, Scott Sinclair, the way he played against Arsenal and Man United, we know the melon we have.
Jose Mourinho compares his players to melons. 9 June 2007
He's a god, not a man.
Chief Jack Naiva of Vanuatu, whose tribe worship the Duke of Edinburgh as a god. 10 June 2007
I wish everyone, friend or foe, well. That is that. The end.
Tony Blair’s official last words as Prime Minister. 27 June 2007.
I am not the 'Special One'. I'm the normal one. But my wife says I am special.
22 September 2007
This guy is just fumbling around!
Arnold Scwarzenegger watching a video link of mayoral hopeful Boris Johnson. 3 October 2007.
On that basis you'd shoot half the population of Notting Hill.
John Humphries, responding to the suggestion that the de Menezes shooting was somehow mattered less because he had traces of cocaine in his blood.
Many will wonder why I haven't run down to whatever hotel you're in, scooped you up and taken you home for a hot bath and a steaming bowl of chicken soup.
Janis Winehouse writes to her daughter Amy through the pages of the News of the World. 9 December 2007