Things To Do This Weekend In London: 11-12 January 2020

All weekend

Ockham's Razor perform at London International Mime Festival

LONDON INTERNATIONAL MIME FESTIVAL: The capital's longest established theatre season, London International Mime Festival is back for four weeks of performances. Highlights this opening weekend include trapeze troupe Ockham's Razor, and minimalist physical comedy by Trygve Wakenshaw. Various locations and prices, book ahead, 8 January-2 February

ANTIQUES FAIR: Looking to splash the cash? Head to the Mayfair Antiques & Fine Art Fair, where 40 dealers from all over sell paintings, prints, tapestry, jewellery, clocks and more. Some of the objects for sale date back centuries, and have a fair bit of history to them. The London Marriott Hotel Grosvenor Square (Mayfair), £10 on the door, 9-12 January

LONDON SHORT FILM FESTIVAL: The 17th edition of the London Short Film Festival is underway, to entertain you with dramas, documentaries and animations. It's ideal weather for holing up in the cinema, and this weekend we like the look of this matinee of romantic short films, mega-compilation The Best Of Blondie, and Visions of Albion, a series of shorts surveying the state of our island. Various locations and prices, book ahead, 10-19 January

REMBRANDT #NOFILTER: Last chance to see Rembrandt #NoFilter, a free display marking 350 years since Rembrandt's death. The exhibition explores the artist’s celebrated Self-Portrait with Two Circles, which resides at Kenwood. A digital artwork, generated through visitors’ selfies, is created on-site too. Kenwood House (Hampstead Heath), free, just turn up, until 12 January

Last chance to see Meltdown at Horniman Museum

MELTDOWN: Also closing on Sunday is Meltdown: Visualizing Climate Change. The free display uses images to highlight the importance of glaciers in our world, and the effect that climate change is having on them. Horniman Museum (Forest Hill), free, just turn up, until 12 January

MEMORY PALACE: Time's running out to see Es Devlin's Memory Palace. It's a beautiful curved mirrored artwork filled with places associated with pivotal moments in history, from the location of the earliest cave paintings to the steps where Greta Thunberg started her climate protests. Pitzhanger Manor (Ealing), £7.70, book ahead, until 9 February

Saturday 11 January

The Johann Strauss Gala comes to Southbank Centre

CREATURE CREATIONS: The Grant Museum of Zoology has some weird and wonderful objects in its collections (trust us — we've had a good look). Take the kids along to a free craft afternoon where they can invent their own new animal based on what they can see in the museum. Grant Museum of Zoology, free, just turn up, 1pm-4pm

20 YEARS OUT: 20 years ago, the ban on homosexuality in the Armed Forces was lifted. To mark the occasion, National Army Museum hosts an afternoon of talks and tours where soldiers can share their own experiences from the last two decades, and how far the Army has come since. National Army Museum (Chelsea), free, just turn up, 2.30pm

20 Years Out at National Army Museum

JOHANN STRAUSS GALA: See the ballrooms of old Vienna brought to life at this one-off performance by the Johann Strauss Dancers. Dressed in period costumes, they waltz their way around the room to the accompaniment of a live orchestra. Southbank Centre, £16.50-£45, book ahead, 2.30pm

SOUNDS OF 2020: Get a preview of three jazz acts who are predicted to go on to great things in 2020. London-based Ife Ogunjobi, new band Golden Mean, and electronic jazz band Burnheart all take to the stage. Choose between standing tickets, or seats in the restaurant. Jazz Cafe (Camden), £17, book ahead, 7pm-10.30pm

Hear the Sounds of 2020 at the Jazz Cafe

STEPHEN WEBB: West End star Stephen Webb has performed in Jersey Boys, Titanic, Legally Blonde, Wonderland and Parade over the past decade. Tonight, he hosts a more intimate concert, singing songs that mean a lot to him, and tunes from the shows he’s been in, accompanied by a live band. The Other Palace (Victoria), £20, book ahead, 8pm

IS BOWIE A GOD?: Join George Hoyle — storyteller, and South East London Folklore Society leader — for a discussion about David Bowie, featuring music and video. Four years after the singer's death, the event focuses on 'Is Bowie a God?'. The Wanstead Tap, £7, book ahead, 8pm

London Hughes is at Bloomsbury Theatre

LONDON HUGHES: Comedian and actress London Hughes takes over Bloomsbury Theatre for a final nights of laughs, joined by special guests. She explores how as a woman, you can be incredibly successful yet incredibly single. Excellent name, too. Bloomsbury Theatre, £17.50, book ahead, 8pm

FROMAGE ON ICE: Grease is the word to have the time of your life at a Dirty Dancing vs. Grease Fromage on Ice special. Skate the night away to tunes from both musical films — it's a good warm up for Secret Cinema's next venture. Alexandra Palace, £10/£9, book ahead, 8.30pm

CHRIS REDD: Saturday Night Live cast member, and American stand-up comedian Chris Redd ends his short residency at Soho Theatre. He's best-known for impersonating the likes of Kanye West, Soulja Boy and The Fresh Prince of Bel Air on the US TV show. Soho Theatre, book ahead, £18-£22, book ahead, 9.30pm

Sunday 12 January

Cirque du Soleil brings Luzia to town

CIRQUE DU SOLEIL: Luzia is Cirque du Soleil's latest show, and it's set in Mexico. It takes water and light for inspiration, with trapeze artists performing through pouring showers. Hoop diving, acrobatic stunts and a surreal menagerie are all part of the fun — and let's face it, with Cirque, you know it's going to be good. Royal Albert Hall, various prices, book ahead, 12 January-1 March

KIDS' COMEDY: Take the whole family along to Comedy Club 4 Kids, and have a laugh. It's like a normal comedy club, except the jokes are child-friendly, without being patronising. Age 6+. ArtsDepot (North Finchley), from £9, book ahead, 12pm/2.30pm

POEMS FROM AMERICA: Celebrate the 200th anniversary of George Keats — younger brother of poet John Keats — visiting from America. Keats House hosts an afternoon of poems which have crossed the Atlantic, to mark the anniversary of the visit by the Kentucky-based civil leader. Keats House (Hampstead), free, book ahead, 2pm-3pm

The No Trousers Tube Ride is back

FOREST STORYTELLING: Aimed at young adults aged 12+ and their families, this storytelling session brings the Greek myth of Diana and Actaeon and the Russian epic The Flaming Firebird and the Princess Vasilisa to life. Storyteller Matthew Crampton and pianist Olga Jegunova team up for the performance. Kings Place (King’s Cross), £12.50, book ahead, 3pm

TS ELIOT PRIZE: Southbank Centre hosts two special events ahead of the announcement of the TS Eliot Prize winner. Poetry critic Jeremy Noel-Tod offers an overview of this year's shortlist (£10, book ahead, 2pm). Later, the shortlisted poets themselves read their own work (£15/£12, book ahead, 7pm).

NO TROUSERS TUBE RIDE: Pretty much what it says, the British version of the 'No Pants Subway Ride' sees participants ride on the tube without their trews (note: despite the American name of the event, your undercrackers ARE required). The No Trousers Tube Ride puts groups of people onto various tube trains, acting completely nonchalantly except for their lack of leg covering. It's a lighthearted, fun event. Don't be the one who makes it weird by turning up in a mankini. Leicester Square, free, just turn up, 3pm

Paint your own Van Gogh-style masterpiece

BRITAIN BY NUMBERS: Stuart Newman discusses his new book, Britain by Numbers, and what it can tell us about our nation, including who lives here, where we work, who we marry, what crimes we commit. How have house prices changed in the past decade? What do we spend our money on? All will be revealed... Conway Hall (Holborn), £8/£5, book ahead, 3pm-4.30pm

PAINT VAN GOGH: Have a go at creating your own version of Van Gogh's painting, Winter Peach Tree. Pop-Up Painting provides all the materials you need, plus expert guidance if required, and drinks are available to buy from the bar. Sipping Room (Canary Wharf), £30.99, book ahead, 3pm-5pm

BAWDY BRITAIN: Presented as a rude musical history of the British Isles, Bawdy Britain is a journey round the country through time via the medium of song. Expect plenty of rudeness and double entendres. Round Table (Leicester Square), free, book ahead, 9pm-10pm