All week
TOTALLY THAMES: It's the first full week of Totally Thames, so dive head-first into the programme of events celebrating the capital's waterways. We like the sound of a walk through maritime Blackwell, a chance to see inside an RNLI lifeboat station, and a guided walk from Tower Bridge to the sea. 1-30 September
CROWN DUAL: Expect frenetic hat-passing, period accents and corgi impressions in The Crown Dual, a parody theatre show which tells the story of Queen Elizabeth II's ascension to the throne. A cast of just two plays actors playing the Queen and her immediate family (keeping up?). Wilton's (Limehouse), £12-£26, book ahead, 3-14 September
A MIDSUMMER NIGHT'S DREAM: Just when you think Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream has been rehashed every possible way, someone stages a production of it in the basement of Ally Pally. It's the first time the subterranean spaces have been opened to the public, and the play too has been updated, set in the 1930s in this interpretation. Alexandra Palace, £28.50, book ahead, 3-28 September
DOCUMENTARY FESTIVAL: The Open City Documentary Festival celebrates the art of making non-fiction films, through a series of screenings, exhibitions, talks and masterclass. Our picks include rhino documentary The Last Male On Earth, and Breathless Animals, about growing up in Maoist China. Various locations and prices, book ahead, 4-10 September
KISS MY GENDERS: If you can overlook the messy curation, Kiss My Genders tackles the important issue of gender identity, with some of the individual pieces having a lasting impact. It's your last chance to see the exhibition, as it closes on Sunday. Hayward Gallery (Southbank Centre), £15.50, book ahead, until 8 September
LAST CHANCE LEONARDO: It's the final week of British Library's current exhibition about Leonardo da Vinci, marking 500 years since his death. See inside some of his notebooks with his drawings and diagrams, showing the fascination he had with motion. From notes about water to paintings of nature, it's a varied exhibition, in line with da Vinci's own interests. British Library, £7, book ahead, until 8 September
Monday 2 September
CHUKA UMUNNA: Streatham MP Chuka Umunna chats to Lib Dem candidate for London Mayor, Siobhan Benita about her career so far. Elected as a Labour MP in 2010, Umunna was one of the forming members of Change UK in early 2019, before joining the Lib Dems a few months later. Submit your questions in advance, and hear Umunna's views on the future of politics, and the Brexit deadline. The Exchange (Twickenham), £10, book ahead, 6.30pm-8pm
COUNTRY MUSIC: American country music singer-songwriter Kip Moore headlines Roundhouse for one night only. He's toured with the likes of Lady Antebellum and Tim McGraw, and offers a rock edge to traditional country music. Roundhouse (Camden), £27.50, book ahead, 7pm
BRITISH POLYMATHS: Polymaths — they don't make them like they used to, or so some would have you believe. Hear from a panel of contemporary polymaths who prove that their skillset didn't die out at the end of the Renaissance. University Challenge star and mathematician Bobby Seagull chats to visual artist and economic macro strategist Davey Jose, Miss England 2017, oncologist, and singer Stephanie Hill and historian Peter Burke. British Library, £15/£10, book ahead, 7pm-8.30pm
Tuesday 3 September
STEAM TRAINS: It's the final day of this summer's steam trains rides between Waterloo and Windsor/Surrey. Live out your Hogwarts Express dreams as you board vintage Pullman coaches pulled by the Mayfair engine, with champagne options available if you're willing to splash out. Waterloo station, from £35 for daytime service/£49 for evening service, book ahead, 8am/11.15am/2.05pm/7.20pm
NEW TOWNS: New documentary New Towns, Our Town takes a look back at the legacy and impact of New Towns including Stevenage, Milton Keynes and Peterborough. Rare archive footage features, and a discussion follows the screening, asking what we can learn from the construction of New Towns to help with the current housing crisis. Barbican Cinema, £12, book ahead, 6.30pm
POPBITCH QUIZ: Swot up on your pop culture and general knowledge and head to the Popbitch Popquiz. Teams of up to six people compete across seven rounds covering everything from music to puzzles to plasticine, with prizes including bar tabs and theatre tickets to be won. Smiths of Smithfield, £5.50, book ahead, 7.30pm
Wednesday 4 September
WOMEN OF WESTMINSTER: MP Diane Abbott and historian Diane Atkinson chat to Rachel Reeves, MP and author of Women of Westminster. Hear them discuss the advances and achievements of women in parliament over the last century, since the election of the first female MP, Nancy Astor. Pages of Hackney, £6, book ahead, 7pm-9pm
PIONEERING POSTERS: David Bownes, former head of collections at the London Transport Museum, reveals some gorgeous tube posters created by female designers. They date from the early 1900s to now, and the event ties in with the soon to close Modernist British Printmaking exhibition. Dulwich Picture Gallery, £12/£10, book ahead, 7.30pm-9pm
STARRY NIGHT: Street art meets Van Gogh at this Pop-Up Painting session. Have a go at creating your own street art interpretation of his Starry Night masterpiece under the guidance of a qualified artist (and the influence of a drink or two). All materials are provided and all abilities are welcome. Revolution Clapham, £27.99, book ahead, 7.30pm-9.30pm
Thursday 5 September
HISTORIANS LECTURE: Arthur Burns, Professor of Modern British History at King's College, is the guest speaker at this year's London Historians Annual Lecture, focusing on the town clergyman in Hanoverian and Victorian London. The stereotype of the 'country clergyman' exists, but the 'town' clergyman has received little attention. Find out more about the 'slum clergyman', a common figure in the 19th century East End. Barnards Inn Hall (Holborn), £10.50, book ahead, 6.30pm-8.30pm
POST STONEWALL: 50 years since the Stonewall Riots, what do the rights of LGBT+ people look like today? Hear how things have changed in the past half century, but also, learn about the serious human rights and psychosocial issues which remain for LGBTQ+ people today. British Library, £10/£7, book ahead, 7pm-8.15pm
ILLUMINATED RIVER: The first of a series of lectures celebrating 125 years of Tower Bridge takes place tonight. Hear Illuminated River’s director Sarah Gaventa and project architect Chris Waite talk about the programme to light up the Thames bridges, and what role Tower Bridge plays in that. Tower Bridge, £20, book ahead, 7pm-8.30pm
RICHARD AYOADE: Writer/director Richard Ayoade chats to comedian Adam Buxton about his career so far. Hear how Ayoade went from a role in The IT Crowd to co-writing and directing on other projects, and why he considers 2003 film View From The Top to be a cinematic masterpiece. Southbank Centre, £15-£35, book ahead, 7.30pm
Friday 6 September
CONCOURS OF ELEGANCE: All manner of very rare (read: expensive) cars park up in Hampton Court Palace's Fountain Garden for Concours of Elegance, a very upmarket classic car show, which also involves some of the UK's most prestigious car clubs. Today's the VIP preview day, but if your pockets aren't quite that deep, tickets for Saturday and Sunday are cheaper. Hampton Court Palace, from £40, book ahead, 6-8 September
PODCAST FESTIVAL: London Podcast Festival begins today, bringing famous and little-known podcasts to the stage for live recordings. Kick things off with George the Poet or Katy Brand and Katherine Parkinson, then browse the programme to see what's coming up over the next nine days. Kings Place (King's Cross), various prices, book ahead, 6-15 September
TEA TOUR: Visit some of Mayfair's hidden tea spots, and learn about tea culture in London on this walk. Dodge the famous halls of Fortnum & Mason for lesser-known spots including somewhere that serves a rare green rooibos, and a family-owned tea shop on a hidden alley. Ham Yard (Piccadilly Circus), £55, book ahead, 10.30am-1.30pm (sponsor)
THAMESMEAD WALK: Thamesmead is an often-overlooked area of London, but this Totally Thames walk is a chance to learn about it. Did you know that much of the land was top secret until the 1950s, as tanks and torpedoes were tested nearby? Hear about this history, the development of the New Town in the 1960s, and how the area is still changing today. Plumstead station, £12/£9, book ahead, 2pm-5.30pm
VEGAN VIBES: Chow down on incredible vegan grub while disco divas Haven't Stopped Dancing Yet take you all the way to funky town. From plant-based pizzas, to cruelty-free chocolate brownies, there's food to suit every palate, as well hula-hooping and flashmob-style dance routines to try out. Greenwich Market (Greenwich), free, book ahead, 6pm-10pm (sponsor)
DUCKIE LOVES FANNY: Here's a surreal homage to the late TV cook Fanny Cradock: 25 identical dragsters, kitted out like the First Lady of Food. A fleet of trolley dollies serves retro bites, and there's music from Fanny's era (think Alma Cogan Kathy Kirby, Tina Charles). Walthamstow Assembly Hall, £15, book ahead, 9pm - 2am
Saturday 7 September
LONDON WING FEST: Love chicken wings? Fly over to Stratford for London Wing Fest, a celebration of chicken wings in all their glory. Sample the UK's best wings from 35 different traders, and see which one is crowned champion by the judging panel. London Stadium (Stratford), £25, book ahead, 7-8 September
FT FESTIVAL: The Financial Times hosts historians, journalists, authors, chefs, activists, barristers and others for a day of thought-provoking talks and discussions on a range of topics, from capitalism to climate change to London's housing crisis. The action takes place across nine different stages — pick one, or move between them. Kenwood House (Hampstead), £95, book ahead, 10am-8pm
WILD LIFE DRAWING: Try your hand at life drawing with a difference — with live owls as models. Wild Life Drawing hosts two sessions, with an experienced artist on hand to offer guidance and all materials provided. There's also a chance to visit the Beasts of London experience afterwards. Museum of London, £40, book ahead, 10.45am/1.45pm
DOCKLANDS REGENERATION: Join a Museum of London Docklands tour guide for a walk around the Docklands area, covering how derelict docks were transformed into a thriving business hub. The event also looks at Crossrail, and the continued effect the much-awaited railway is having on the Canary Wharf area. Museum of London Docklands, £12.50, book ahead, 2pm
Sunday 8 September
VINTAGE CAR SHOW: The Classic and Vintage Car Show at Capel Manor Gardens has vehicles dating as far back as the 1920s on display. We're promised an RAF flypast, food stalls, miniature train rides and live music. Capel Manor (Enfield), £8, just turn up, 10am-5pm
MALORIE BLACKMAN: Author Malorie Blackman offers an introduction to her new novel Crossfire, a much-awaited sequel to Noughts and Crosses, set 34 years after the original. Blackman chats about writing the new book, and about the upcoming TV adaptation of Noughts and Crosses. Southbank Centre, £20, book ahead, 2pm
SARA PASCOE: Comedian Sara Pascoe chats about her new book, Sex, Power, Money, with podcaster Deborah Frances-White. The book takes a not-entirely-serious look at the things that matter most to humans. Southbank Centre, £15-£25, book ahead, 7.30pm
