London, it turns out, cannot function without chicken.
In the wake of the Great KFC Chicken Shortage, the carnivorous denizens of our city have been brought to their knees. Instagram posts joshed about the drought with apocalypse-like overtones:
But such japes were merely masking the saltless tears of under-chickened Londoners.
And the country as a whole had a collective sob, when presented with this little Londoner's breakdown on TV:
At least we think the little girl was from London. So poultry malnourished were the journalists who covered it, no one seems to know who the girl is, or where the video was shot. We can only wish her well, and that she made it through the night on rations of — oh, we don't know — any of the other gazillions of available junk food chain outlets (or, if she had to, a vegetable-rich stew).
Some Londoners, who clearly thought that KFC's shortage was nothing short of criminal, called it out as such:
Please do not contact us about the #KFCCrisis - it is not a police matter if your favourite eatery is not serving the menu that you desire.— Tower Hamlets MPS (@MPSTowerHam) February 20, 2018
Seriously though, has no one ever heard of Morley's?