Whether you're relationshipping or single, Feb-One-Four is traditionally The Worst.
Unbelievably cheesy, weirdly performative, and, (the one we're really aggrieved by) doesn't even have a Maltesers animal associated with it, i.e. all the worst parts of hyper-consumerism, none of the important ones.
But, due to lockdown, 14 February 2021 actually looked somehow — better than usual? No pressure, or in fact ability, to go out for it, no risk of being violined at over dinner by a roving restaurant musician, and far more (and better) food delivery options across the city than existed pre-coronavirus. Just a day when hospitality venues across London flexed extra hard to deliver something incredibly hedonistic, or wholesomely lovely, to your doorstep.
In that spirit, we bring you our pick of the city's meal kits which are still available this year, if you want to make this V-Day lavishly romantic, joyously platonic, or just self-indulgent like crazy — all without needing to leave your home, or, actually, pyjamas.
Caribe', Brixton
The Caribe' feast menu isn't Valentine's Day specific, so you could be brightening any winter evening with their food from across the Caribbean islands. The goat feasting menu comes with the meat, several vegetable sides, roti, rice, sauces and rum cake — it looks likely to take a bit more prep than just slinging it in the oven and kicking back with a cocktail while you wait, but if the result's even close to as good as their in-restaurant meals, we reckon it's worth the effort.
Details: £38 for the chicken or goat feast, £30 for the vegan feast, local delivery — order here.
Tendril, Soho
Beloved by vegans and meatlovers alike, Rishim Sachdeva's residency slash delivery service does inventive, incredible food that bounces around different nations, and just happens to be mostly plant-based. The Valentine's Day meal kit's seven courses — idiotproof to put together — including chipotle mushrooms with gremolata, lentil parfait with fennel, pickles, and aubergine, and a tiramisù that shouldn't be able to be so perfect while being plant-based, but is.
Details: £73 for two people, for the vegan or mostly vegan box, with delivery on 12, 13, 14 February — order here.
Le Swine x Decatur x The Proof
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A power-alliance from bacon sandwich kings Le Swine, Cajun cookery pop-up Decatur, and dessert delivery service The Proof — the package comes with bacon butties for two (including chipotle ketchup, fresh sage, bacon butter, and free range bacon), the makings of half a dozen of Decatur's signature chargrilled oysters aka The Hot Oyster That Taught Us To Love A Hot Oyster (Pecorino-garlic butter, Cajun spices, hot sauce), and The Proof's sticky toffee pudding.
Details: £35 for two, delivery on 12 February — order here.
Koya, Soho
The five dish meal kit from Soho udon-slingers Koya kicks off with tsukemono (Japanese pickles), and, defying the usual rule that says pickles will be the best part of any meal, keeps climbing from there. Crab and tomato soup, pumpkin and tofu nanbanzuke (fried and also pickle-heavy, ie the dream), and their signature chashu pork udon all feature, and a fig and red bean dessert. About half the dishes take some significant prepping, so this isn't just a plate-it-and-take-all-the-credit deal, but these are some rich, heartwarming dishes to romance your loved one/yourself with, and we're calling it a good prep to payoff ratio.
Details: £55 for two, delivery on 11 February — order here.
Home by Nico, Soho
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Six by Nico's known for its elaborately themed restaurant menus, riffing off a different theme every month — a grown-up twist on childhood snacks, maybe, or the British seaside, or New York diner food. Their Valentine's meal kit's built along more trad lines — three courses and three sides, for two people, and a bottle of wine — and includes lobster and prawn tortellini, and a mac and quadruple-cheese. An SbN meal kit usually takes more attention than just a straight up heat-and-eat, but instructions are detailed, and the end result's flamboyant enough to justify the mountain of washing up.
Details: £84 for two people — delivery on 12 February. Order here.
Pophams, Hackney
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A three-course menu from these masters of pastries and pasta: dishes include lamb breast with lentil ragú, tortellini in brodo, and a rhubarb dessert. Highly recommend also throwing in several misc. pastries from the bakery section while you're ordering (the marmite, cheese and spring onion swirl should be top priority, but they also do a ridiculously good pain au chocolat) if you want to make your morning after equally spectacular.
Details: £70 for two, available on 14 February only. Order here for local delivery or collection from their shop.
One Fine Dine
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Okay, this one looks like a lot of work. A three course menu arrives with a huge number of separately packaged ingredients, a stack of recipe-plating cards, and some intimidating 'here's what you're aiming for' photos. But One Fine Dine's surprisingly simple and very quick, the hard work genuinely done in advance. Our very elaborate two person meal (and we've chosen two entirely different sets of options through the three course set menu, so that's six different dishes to prep and plate, eight if you count the amuse bouche) probably takes no more than ten minutes total to assemble into something (looks down modestly) fairly damn impressive. Low effort, high swagger.
Everything it's delivered in is recyclable or compostable, instructions are clear and easy — and everything apart from one of our desserts can be heated by microwave.
It's the priciest menu on this list by a mile, but it's also the closest you'll get to [select as required] courting your loved one/dazzling your friends/taking self-love to the next level in truly elaborate, blobs of foam and swirls of jus, Michelin-star-dining-on-a-stately-home-getaway style.
Details: £195 for two people, including amuse bouche, three courses, bottle of wine, printed menu and petit fours — order here, available for February.
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