Things To Do In London: Thursday 26 March 2015

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For Your Commute

Ever wondered how much of London the Royal Family owns? We did too, so we put together this map (may cause bitterness if you're struggling to get onto the property ladder).

Things To Do

Poets take on comedians at Stand Up And Slam

MARITIME LECTURE: It's the final event in National Maritime Museum's series of Maritime lectures. Filmmaker Jessica Sarah Rinland, presents This Is Where I Come From, an illustrated essay which explores humans' relationships with whales, trees and the sublime wilderness. £8, prebook, 11am

BEHIND THE SCENES: Laura Mclaws Helms and Dennis Nothdruft, curators of the Fashion and Textile Museum's current Thea Porter exhibition talk about the process of curating the exhibition and give an insight into how they sourced some of the garments on display. £15/£12, prebook, 6pm

BROMLEY ON FILM: London's Screen Archives (the organisation behind the Kinovan which is currently touring London boroughs) brings a special screening of archive footage to Bromley Central Library, showing footage from the last century and looking at how the area has changed. Free, prebook, 6pm

WOMEN AND WITCHES: The Courtauld Gallery in Somerset House hosts the first of two late night openings, giving visitors a chance to explore the collection after hours, including the current exhibition Goya: The Witches and Old Women Album. Expect performance poetry, mime and cabaret drawing on the themes of superstition, witchcraft, dreams and desire, talks, live music, and a bar.  £8.50, prebook, 6.30pm

DYLAN THOMAS: The new book, Dylan Thomas and the Bohemians: The Photographs of Nora Summers is under discussion at private members' club Library in Covent Garden. Guests include the book's co-authors: Thomas expert Jeff Towns, and Nora Summers' grandson and his wife. £9.45, prebook, 6.30pm

ANDREW MARR: Political journalist and broadcaster Andrew Marr joins the Wapping Project's Skylight Soiree in Mayfair. He's in conversation with Erica Wagner, about his political thriller book, Head of State, published last year. £10, prebook, 7pm

JAZZ SHIP: Climb aboard the Golden Hinde replica on the Southbank and enjoy Jazz Nursery, a monthly musical takeover with great musicians playing the best in grassroots jazz. £10/£5, prebook, 7.30pm

ROCK'N'ROLL CIRCUS: 21st Century rock 'n roll band Montecristos celebrate the release of their debut album Born to Rock 'n' Roll with an extravaganza of thrills, spills, magic and music at Wilton's Music Hall. 18+. £12.50/£15, prebook, 7.30pm

CHORAL MUSIC: Goldsmiths Choral Union perform Haydn’s Creation Mass, Schubert’s Magnificat and Mozart’s Litany K.195 at Cadogan Hall. £18-£27, prebook, 7.30pm

AUTHOR SHOWCASE: Authors Catherine Chanter and Sara Taylor will talk about their debut novels with Louisa Joyner, editorial director of Canongate at Dulwich Books. Find out more about the books here. £6, prebook, 7.30pm

STAND UP AND SLAM: Performance poets and stand up comedians go head to head in Stand Up And Slam at Hackney Picturehouse — and the audience decides the winner. £8, prebook, 7.30pm

COMEDY: BLOODY HELL, PHILOMENA CUNK! Or, on her non-Charlie Brooker days, Diane Morgan. She’s at Laugh Out London in Hackney with Nish Kumar, Mike Wozniak and Holly Burn. £4/£6, prebook, 8pm

Good Cause of the Day

Book tickets now for We Love Immigration, a comedy benefit at Bloomsbury Theatre on Monday 30 March. A month before the general election the comedy world celebrates the fantastic impact immigration has had on the British Comedy industry. Performances from Nish Kumar, Mike Wozniak and Bec Hill, among others. Proceeds to the Migrants Rights Network.

Find more London events in our Free & Cheap events listings. Want to see your event in these last-minute listings? Email us at [email protected] at least 48 hours before the event, and we will consider it for inclusion. Note: due to high volumes of email, we can’t always reply.