London Fire Brigade has released the strangest calls made to 999 requesting help.
Our favourite is the woman who made squirrel noises down the phone to illustrate a situation where a squirrel had got into her kitchen (last week Londonist had a squirrel throwing bits of pebbledashing at us as we tried to remove an interested cat from the vicinity; annoying, yes, but at no point did we contemplate dialing 999 to deal with the screeching rodent). We also like the fox in someone's garden that had "an odd look on its face" and arachnophobes will sympathise with finding a spider on a pillow.
Then there are the people who need a stern talking to, like the man who said if nobody helped him change a tyre, it'd be the Fire Brigade's fault if he crashed (ever heard of the RAC?), closely followed by the woman who threw a glass of water over fighting dogs, forgetting that she'd stored her false teeth in there and wanted help retrieving them. And if you're the family whose au pair was so scared of getting in trouble because she couldn't close a window, you need to take a good look at yourselves.
The LFB says it gets 100 unnecessary calls a week and you can almost hear the pleading undertone as it asks people to contact the RSPCA to deal with unwanted animals, or a friend to help with phobias.
Photo by Deadly Knitshade from the Londonist Flickr pool