Zinger Of The Week: Finger In The Pie's Fifth Anniversary Show @ Madame Jojo's, Sunday
Celebrating their fifth anniversary this week is London variety showcase specialists Finger In The Pie. Their hotter-than-hell lineup at Madame Jojo's features burlesque clown Audacity Chutzpah, neo-cabaret duo Bourgeois and Maurice, more burlesquing from Shirley Windmill, physical comedy courtesy of Dr Brown and Frank Wurzinger, northern star Myra Dubois and ace comperes Moonfish Rhumba. Not enough? Get there early to chow down on Blanche & Shock's experimental food selection. £15 (£50 for two inc. meal)
Its happy birthday and many happy returns as up-and-coming comedy-and-cabaret night Heart & Lung Unit celebrate their first anniversary tonight. Help blow out the candle at Dean Street's LVPO in the company of (amongst others) Chris Dangerfield, David Cronenberg's Wife and "uber-quirky-electronic-multi-instrumental-pop-storytelling-on-the-run-for-murder" Bernadette Bentley. £3
Bouffant bon vivant showgirl Miss Hope Springs continues her tales of woe in her new show Miss Hope Springs...Sings Her Songs at the Leicester Square Theatre. Following on from 2011's Je M'appelle Hope, Springs' alter ego Ty Jeffries - son of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang's Lionel Jeffries, don't you know - has had dinner with Frank Sinatra, danced down Sunset Boulevard with Fred Astaire and even spoke to us last year. Yowsers. Show continues until 10 February. £10/£8 concessions.
Self-proclaimed “musical genius” and world-record holding pianist-turned-rapper-turned-pianist-turned-rapper Chilly Gonzales is back in town and at the Soho Theatre. His brother wrote the music for the Buffy The Vampire TV series. Fact. Show continues 2, 3 and 4 Feb. £15.£17.50
Hop aboard the the Battersea Barge for this month's Cheese ‘N’ Crackers talent night. Unleash your inner Simon Cowell as you try to spot The Next Big Thing amongst ten variety acts all competing for Paul L Martin’s coveted Cheese & Cracker platter. Expect music, magic, burlesque, cabaret, clowns, stand-up and possibly something to wash your dinner plates in. £7
Watching bongo flicks in public and hearing from those in the sex industry has never been so much fun or edifying thanks to vintage pornmonger Ophelia Bitz and her ArtWank! shows. She wowed the Old Vic Tunnels last year and is only going from strength to strength. Catch her at the Royal Vauxhall Tavern on Thursday. £8
Following hot on the heels of the relaunch of La Reve, the mighty black beast of Soho that is Madame Jojo’s Bete Noire tries a new format with a two-part show dubbed 'La Belle et la Bête'. With stars like the clown-queen of burlesque Audacity Chutzpah and the croonmeister Frank Sanazi in each half, it doesn't matter whether you go early or go late: just go. £10 for one show; £15 for both.
This is cabaret for all the family, as long as that family are the Mansons: famed drag-queen supergroup The LipSinkers will be “singing” more twisted songs than can be found in a pile of melted vinyl at the soon-to-be-no-more Bistrotheque's cabaret room (pass the hankies). £12/£10 diners
Charity begins at home. Actually, that's not strictly true tonight as you will need to get yourself down to the Bethnal Green's Working Men's Club for their Charity Night Variety Extravaganza in aid of Cancer Research with comedy, kung-fu and and some retro tunes. £10
Like a rabbit from a hat, a fun fundraiser for the Circle for the Magic Arts appears this afternoon. Host Steve Allen of LBC fame will be close-up and personal as he unleashes ten different magicians on the audience. £34.00
How can you not love a group called The Swingle Singers? The acapella group has been around since 1963, changing lineups as they went, and tonight you find them at posh pizza joint The Pheasantry. £25 not including pizza, pasta, doughballs or dessert.
Black Elvis will be entering this Saturday at the homo-exotic Duckie at the Royal Vauxhall Tavern. If you can make it past door-whores The Clothes, you can see him swing his hips alongside Amy Lamé, Roy Kerr and regular DJs The Readers Wifes. £6
See Zinger Of The Week.
Two recession-friendly options tonight: Rotherham's finest export Myra Dubois will be at the Cellardoor where you can see her for a very round price or you can watch Timberlina publicly fondle his smooth balls at the RVT's weekly bingo for £1 a round.
If it’s a night of all-out tassel-twirling fun you’re after, head east for The Brickhouse and Seattle’s Sinner Saint Burlesque - aka Evilyn Sin Claire, Polly Wood, Jesse Belle-Jones and Lady Tatas - show you a thing or two. Our review is over here. Show continues until 25 February. £10 show only/£40-£45 for food plus show.
This week's video has those scallies Moonfish Rhumba asking a straightforward question: why can't we all be lesbians? You can see them compering on Sunday at Madame Jojo's.