The Poke, pedlars of all things diverting, have discovered the Daily Mail's secret editorial formula, all draughted out as a Tube map. Notable friends, enemies and tubs earmarked for thumping are distributed among the various lines, along common themes.
The Piccadilly stops, for example, are all forms of cancer, including immigrant cancer and Facebook cancer. The Northern Line shows the Mail's arch-enemies, including Mohammed Al Fayed, lesbian teachers and foxes. Hammersmith and City pink, meanwhile, is reserved for blue-top favourites such as house prices, Kate Middleton and swans (there are several conflicts where this line intersects with the District Line, which are supposedly 'nuisances'). The Waterloo and City Line is strangely absent from the key; suggestions on the back of an Oyster Card for themes linking Hosepipe Bans (Waterloo) with Basshunter (Bank).
This one's been around for over a year, but we've only just found it thanks to Brand Republic.
See our comprehensive list of alternative Tube maps here.