There's more cabaret than you can shake a very large stick at this week so with zip, zero and zilch further ado, here are this week's Zingers.
Zinger Of The Week: La Rève at Cafe de Paris
With more big names than a superinjunction support group, La Reve's dinner cabaret (£12 show/£45 including three course meal) showcases the talents of multi-talented host Dusty Limits, sword-swallowing Miss Behave, ace juggler Mat Ricardo, aerialista Empress Stah, hoop-queen Pippa the Ripper, burlesquer extraordinaire Laurie Hagen and certifiable loon Chris Lynam.
Monday’s Zingers: Treat yourself to some cheap and very cheerful cabaret tonight. Dominic Mattos drags it up as Ethel Merman down t’CellarDoor (free) while you can temporarily forget any property woes by getting your own full house at the RVT’s weekly bingo night. It's free to get in then a pound a round. Lovely.
Tuesday’s Zingers: The London cabaret scene is growing every which way and this revolution will not be televised; at least, not by Simon Cowell. The sixth UnderConstruction series at Bistrotheque (£5) gives experimental cabaret a good name by affording the old guard the opportunity to try out new ideas alongside spunky up-and-comers. Turn up tonight (£5) for Blanche du Bois, Fat Content, Nathalie Carrington, Marcus Reeves and Mr Teds.
Lady Beau Peep and her League Of The Extraordinary (£35-£40) continue at the Brickhouse, serving up hefty portions of quality dinner cabaret.
Wednesday’s Zingers: Postcards (£10) at Jackson's Lane is a new month-long festival of comedy and circus artists starting tonight. Expect a series of short, sharp performances from new acts plus the likes of BGT's Marawa, La Clique's Mooky and Bryony Kimmings who starred in her Soho Theatre show earlier this year. Turn up tonight for Gisele Edwards, Zu Ariel and Inverted Dance.
It’s Round 2 of Scottee’s Burger Queen Contest (£6 standard, £9.99 with burger & chips) and the search for London’s top chubby heats up. If you think you have what takes, it’s not too late to throw your fat into the ring. Taking stock and/or pity will be Camden-Mayoress-And-Plus-Size-Diva Amy Lamé and her fellow celebrity judges while Scottee updates us on the progress of his latest crash(bangwallop) diet.
Gallic songstress Madamoiselle Vicious Delicious will steal your heart, boyfriend and anything else not nailed down with her sardonic songs. You can see her down t'CellarDoor tonight for a very round price.
Men Over Broad on the Battersea Barge (£10) brings together for one night only a high-quality quartet of cabaret veterans in Sarah-Louise Young, Paul L Martin, Dusty Limits and Michael Roulston.
Thursday’s Zingers: David Hoyle is not the cuddly face of cabaret. He positively enjoys turning sacred cows into gourmet burgers. What he would do with a ukulele is not suitable for a family website. If this hasn't put you off, roll up to see him at the RVT (£10) for the latest installment of his series Lives with guest stars Al Joshua and Mouse.
If oversized bizarre Russian puppets do it for you (we're not ones to judge), pop into the Resistance Gallery (£10/£8 advance) where Boris and Sergey demonstrate why they were nominated for an Off-West End award.
Frisky and Mannish. Tom Baker. Ophelia Bitz. Sophia St Villier. John Drain. All at Bête Noire (£10). Tonight. Go.
Longstanding circus act The Flying Karamazov Brothers are not Russian or brothers and they don't fly (where's a trading standards officer when you need one?). Turn up to one of the three preview performances tonight or tomorrow at the Vaudeville Theatre to see the kilted wonders for only a tenner after which prices go up to £15-£39.50.
Friday’s Zingers: Live mash-up masters Pistol & Jack are at the Leicester Square Theatre with their latest show Smash*Glam*Sex*Music (£10). See them meld American rap and British classics with aplomb and chuckles before they head north to some festival or other.
Bourgeois & Maurice are two very good reasons to find yourself inside RVT as they headline club night Kimono Krush, "the alternative gay disco with a tranny edge."
The last two cheap previews of the Flying Karamazov Brothers are today (5:30pm and 8:00pm). See Thursday Zingers for more details.
Saturday's Zingers: Expect the unexpected and stand well back as Des O'Connor, Benjamin Louche, Alix Fox and MC Margaret The Gimp co-host this month's Sideshow - The Weirdest Show On Earth (£20) at the Leicester Square Theatre.
This week's homo-tastic Duckie (£6) contains the usual refined ingredients of Amy Lamé on hosting and Readers Wives on the ones and twos with added dollops of Goodwin Sands and Hairy Showgirl Sue Hart. Yum.
Sunday's Zinger: Call an old friend. Have a picnic. Go see tranny superstar Jonny Woo's new show at XOYO (£6). It's all good.
This week's video is from Kimono Krush headliners Bourgeois & Maurice who won last year's Alternative Eurovision with this little ditty.
Photograph of Marcus Reeves (c) Martin Small