It may be a short week for the nine-to-fivers but it's another packed week on the cabaret front. So with zip, zero and zilch further ado, here are our cabaret zingers.
Our Zinger Of The Week proves that, whether it's being a monarch or a member of the Bluestockings, sisters are more than capable of doing it for themselves. This Thursday, the sassiest sorority in town will be holding their Right Royal Hag Do! (£7/£5) at the Bethnal Green Working Men's Club. Donning the crown for the night, Sarah-Louise Young will be running the (long may she) rule over the likes of burlesque star Red Sarah, twisted songstresses EastEnd Cabaret and Bluestockings co-founder Audacity Chutzpah who will be appearing dressed as the groom-to-be. This East End street party wouldn't be complete without games, tea, cake, raffle and a joanna-powered knees-up so they've thrown those in too. Unless you're queuing overnight for a peek at Princess Kate as she wafts by, you have no excuse not to be there.
Wednesday's Zinger: If there are still (still!) people who think women comedians aren't funny, Mock The Week's Danielle Ward will be hoping to mock those weak-minded fools with her new monthly show Sideways Smile at the RVT (£7). She will be joined by The Thick Of It's Sara Pascoe, "wonder comic" Tiffany Stevenson and house band The Balconettes aka Ward, geek goddess Helen Arney and the "venomously witty" Rachel Parris.
On the flipside, you can go to Soho to see if men are every bit as good as women when it comes to the art of tassel-twirling. London Burlesque Week hold their Boylesk Revue (£22.50) at Madame Jojo's with performers including Spencer Maybe, fresh from debuting his latest single Flesh last week.
Thursday Zinger: We recommend starting your wedding preparations a day early with our Zinger Of The Week; alternatively the Pale Blue Door's Right Royal Knees Up (£40) will be more than happy to provide cabaret entertainment alongside a 4-course meal including roast beef, sherry trifle and a candelit cava tasting, all at a secret location in
Friday's Zingers: Should you decide to give willandkate's evening reception a miss, the Alternative version at Udderbelly (£19.50) promises to be every bit as good. Meanwhile, ardent royalist-cum-burlesquer Agent Lynch will be risking a spell in the Tower with her Kate Middleton routine at Land of Kings.
Saturday's Zinger: Cabaret legend Lenny Beige returns to the limelight with a show at the 100 Club. Not The Royal Wedding Night (£13) sees him sharing his stage with soulful songsters David McAlmont and Guy Davies plus Matt Berry, Josh Weller and Barry From Watford.
Sunday's Zinger: Pinch, punch, first Zinger of the month (no backsies). If all the wedding talk has driven you doolally, grab a trilby and join the other Mad Hatters on board the Wonderland-themed Steamboat Bordello (£40/£70). Its situated on the largest paddle steamer in the British Isles, which is just as well as there is more cabaret here than you can shake a very large stick at including Dusty Limits, Ruby Blues, Fancy Chance, Ophelia Bitz, Roxy Velvet, Fabulous Russella, Vicky Butterfly, Doug Francisco, Count Sizzle and the Congo Faith Healers.
This week's video is from boylesk superstar Spencer Maybe and his rather funky Flesh.
London Burlesque Week is here again. We spoke to the main man behind it, Burlesque King Chaz Royal.
Last week, we went behind the scenes of Madame Jojo's. Here's what we saw.
If Agent Lynch does get escorted to the Tower of London, this may be her last interview ever.