Knowles House (Party?)
Firefighters called to a suspected tower block fire in Wandsworth were instead confronted by a man burning incense and tending to a private menagerie. Two engines and a hydraulic platform were called to Knowles House on Neville Gill Close, Wandsworth on Monday after reports of smoke from a seventh-floor flat. On entering the property, the crews discovered birds, rabbits and lizards, plus an attendant population of flies and cockroaches. "Honestly it was like walking into the Amazon," offered a service spokesperson. The matter has now been handed over to the police and social services. Never mind that. Who's got the film rights?