Bringing you the most Londony shows on TV over the coming week.
The Great Sperm Race (C4, 21.00-22.10) If you were off sick (or pregnant) when human fertilization was explained at school, tune in to Channel 4 tonight. The act of conception will be reconstructed through the curious medium of a giant sperm race along the South Bank. Followed by monkey tennis.
The Secret Millionaire (C4, 22.10-23.15) Former MD of Rover, Kevin Morley, volunteers for community projects in the Baby P Borough of Haringey.
The Lion Cub From Harrods (FIVE, 20.00-21.00) Lion cubs don't stay cubs for long, as the King's Road owners of this feisty purchase discovered back in 1969.
Holloway (ITV1, 21.00-22.00) Another look inside the north London prison for women.
The Culture Show (BBC2, 22.00-22.30) Behind the scenes at the Whitechapel Gallery, just days before it reopens.
The Apprentice (BBC1, 21.00-22.00) Non-foolsuffering Alan Sugar returns for the first post-crunch Apprentice.
Primeval (ITV2, 19.20-20.20) An ancient and terrible crocodile monster materialises in the the British Museum hell-bent on
returning the Elgin Marbles to Greece destroying the capital. New series of the fun but flawed drama.