Tempers Flare As Fires Ravage The Capital!

By Craigie_B Last edited 124 months ago
Tempers Flare As Fires Ravage The Capital!

Well, no, alright. It's a quiet news day and not much has happened so excuse us a little bit of exaggeration. The Great Fire Of London, this is not.

First-off, on the London/Surrey border a whole Waitrose went up in flames last night. The Banstead branch of our favourite posh high street food retailer was completely destroyed, leaving behind only a smouldering hump. No people were hurt, but there appears little chance of any of those really lovely fruit smoothies - or indeed those dinky 'tapas-to-go' packs - escaping unscathed. The cause of the blaze is unknown, but it may be suspicious after reports of a large blast starting the whole incident off yesterday evening. A distress relief fund for local residents has already been set up.

And then, in comes reports of a Lib Dem MP in North London dealing with some serious boiler problems by dialling 999 to summon the Fire Brigade. This has incensed the Conservative chair of London's Fire Authority, Brian Coleman who responded that Lynne Featherstone MP had been 'dizzy' and wasted the emergency services' time during the incident last month. The cause of the malfunction is unknown, but it's hardly likely to be suspicious after the only reports were of the boiler making loud noises and shaking the floor. There is so far no confirmation that a distress relief fund for local residents has yet been set up. The necessary finance can always be transferred from Brian Coleman's impressive taxi fund, no?

Playing with fire pic from nickwheeleroz's Flickrstream

Last Updated 13 December 2008