London has today been saved from a grave threat to our national health and security. Perfectly coiffed, saccharine sweet, endlessly talented Martha Stewart has been denied a visa to visit the UK.
There are apparently quite a few out there who still venerate this triumph of PR over commonsense. Empress of daytime TV with a terrifyingly large business network, she is as firmly ensconced in American popular culture as Delia is over here. But insipidity and a degree of culinary ability is about all they have in common: Martha’s an ex-con, you see. A fallen angel. Convicted for telling porkies to some federal bureau of something or other. Which is obviously why she’s been denied access to this, er, rose-scented land of ours.
Now respect is due: the girl done good, well, then bad, then good again: she’s a self-baked apple pie, who came from humble roots and rose above mundane stuff like divorce and jail.
But we really don’t need her over here. It’s got nothing to do with her record. The authorities are doing us all a favour but for the wrong reasons. There’s nothing designed to make the British back bristle so much as a practically perfect moral meddler. Londonist can really live without knowing how to do this, and we suspect that you can too. The reason Delia is tolerated (OK, adored) is because she sticks at doing what she knows best. Give this Londonista curvaceous, non-crusading, bowl-licking Nigella any day.
To be fair, la Stewart was after coming here on a wheeling and dealing mission. And it is also possible that there is a bit of tit for tat going on: after all, they refused both our Amy and our Yusuf visas. But any which way you look at it, his city ain’t big enough for more than one Domestic Goddess.
Photo from meltingnoise’s flickr stream under the Creative Commons Licence.