Honey, I Expanded The Kids, Turned Them Into Bronze, Got Them To Embrace Incestuously And Plonked Them In St Pancras International

M@
By M@ Last edited 198 months ago
Honey, I Expanded The Kids, Turned Them Into Bronze, Got Them To Embrace Incestuously And Plonked Them In St Pancras International
bronzeclinch.jpg

That’s the creative process used by artist Paul Day to produce his landmark sculpture for the station. Or so we choose to believe.

Sadly, the facts tell us that it’s really made from conventional modelling techniques, and shows the sculptor in a clinch with his half-French wife, Catherine.

The nuzzling pair were today installed on the concourse beneath St Panc’s famous clock. According to Day, the 30ft group ‘reflects the romance that train travel used to have,’ and ‘aims to symbolise the meeting of two cultures’. It’s a beautiful sentiment, and we’re sure it’s going to become a cultural reference point and famous place to meet.

We also suspect an element of keeping up with les Jones’, given that the station will soon greet Eurostar trains from France. The Minister for Culture was nearly quoted as saying: “Paris the City of Romance? Pah, we’ve got a 10-times lifesize model of a couple snogging. Regardez-that, you delusional Gallic swine”.

Alas, no snogging. Victorian attitudes to tongue dancing persist, and the couple merely touch heads. The work ‘was originally to be of the couple kissing. But London and Continental Railways, which commissioned it, thought the pose too risqué’. Has this Board ever looked at statuary? The whole point is to get as many tits and bums and cherubic penises on public display as possible. Compared to the three centuries of chiselled smut surmounting the podia of London, an affectionate smooch would have been refreshingly human.

Last Updated 22 October 2007