Mystery Shit Taints Funeral Supplier

By M@ Last edited 145 months ago
Mystery Shit Taints Funeral Supplier

There's a serious leak in Haringey, and the unfortunate residents have had to cope with unamusing oozings of a fecal persuasion.

The shit has most inconveniently hit the fan at a local funeral stationary supplier. A trade that requires tact and delicacy isn't helped by reeking pools of effluent by the door.

It makes me feel physically sick when I come up here, it smells so bad because it's raw sewage. It is a health hazard but nothing is being done. Customers sometimes visit, about one or two a day. These are bereaved people visiting us and to be confronted with the sight of all this sewage running down the front of the building is just not nice.

The river of filth has its source in Seymour House, Muswell Hill (Northern Heights? Northern Shites more like). But authorities have been unsure where ownership and responsibility lie, so the noisome water feature has now oozed for over two weeks. In the evocative words of the shop owner, Pam Hibbs:

Raw sewage should be dealt with within 48 hours according to the Haringey Council's own rules, but it's been weeks. There is all sorts in it, tampons and such, so it is definitely raw. I hope they do clear it up


Yummy. Fortunately, the council have now got to the, ahem...bottom of things and this should all be sorted out soon.

Last Updated 04 February 2007