People have started buying tickets for Di-Aid.
Other people want to buy tickets for Di-Aid.
Touts have now set up base camp on eBay creating a kind of virtual Dodo island where the weak minded and musically challenged are being clubbed in the face with inflated prices:
Barry Osborn, from Hythe in Kent, thought he was in with a good chance as he works from home. "I hit that button just seconds after 9am but still I didn't get it," he said. "I just wanted to take my girlfriend to what sounds like it's going to be a fantastic day but the touts got in there first and I am left wondering how they did it."
Magic, Barry. Deep dark evil tout magic.
Road kill always brings the vultures out. Dodos have no chance at first dibs on a prime bit of carrion like a golden ticket to see a tone deaf dead woman's favourite performers (although Joss Stone would have been ten years old when Di was last in Paris so maybe they have MTV in Heaven).
If David Icke is right anyone attending the concert runs the risk of becoming food for our interstellar lizard faced overlords, Quatermass style.
Even if he's wrong they still run the risk of seeing Andrew Lloyd Webber.