Local Hacks Prepare To Dust Off 'Make The Grade' Cliché

By M@ Last edited 149 months ago
Local Hacks Prepare To Dust Off 'Make The Grade' Cliché

The yoof of today. They’re just too brainy for their own good. Take Peter and Paula Imafidon, a pair of twins from Waltham Forest. They both just passed a GCSE in statistics. Age six.


When we were six, the closest we got to statistical expertise was assessing the likelihood of getting caught taking a leak in the park. Actually, that’s still about the extent of it.

Meanwhile, at the other end of town, another pair of twins are celebrating an A* bonanza. Jonathan and Andrew Hackett of Richmond College amassed 20 top grades between them.

Then there’s Princess Eugenie, who despite the disadvantages of inbreeding managed two A*s, four As and three Bs.

Elsewhere, 16 year-old Anne Mullan managed 16 GCSEs at grades A or A*. How do you manage to study 16 subjects? Like, how many ologies are there? Her relatively underachieving classmate Sarah Crosby “also managed a haul of 16 GCSEs - three A*s, ten As and three Bs”. Thicko.

Londonist remains happy with our single grade F from the University of Life. It’s the taking part that counts.

Last Updated 24 August 2006