Rise Of The Machines

By M@ Last edited 159 months ago
Rise Of The Machines
Dino plus fish.jpg

What a day for robots. First we hear that London Aquarium has acquired three mechanical fish (sure to be dubbed Robocod), then we see the stories about automaton velociraptors all set to dominate the Christmas sales. (We want one, we want one, WE WANT ONE!)

Robotics has come a long way since the days of Metal Mickey and Big Trak. In this here year of our Lord 2005, after succumbing to one too many G&Ts from a synthetic barmaid, Londoners can now have their livers serviced by robot surgeons while a robotic nurse comforts concerned relatives. So Londonist welcomes these latest silicon-based entities into our city of diversity.

Les poisson électronique (no reason, just sounds better than robot fish) are completely autonomous, requiring no remote control.

It’s amazing how beautiful and graceful their movements are - they’re going to be incredibly popular with our visitors,

says London Aquarium director Foster Archer, whose sent mail must be decimated by spam filters checking for those hilariously made-up Cialis-commending names.

Meanwhile, les velociraptor robotique, or ‘roboraptors’, if we can stop being needlessly pretentious for just a few moments, thank you, are on sale in all good department stores. Watch the commercial here, and feel the icy talons of Mammon scratch away at your last reserves of willpower. Buy me, buy me!

It’s all good fun until about 2009.

Last Updated 07 October 2005