Tom Cruise takes an unexpected ejaculation right in the face? Normally the Londonist team of lawyers wouldn't even let us get near to typing those words but today, thanks to Channel 4, we are free to make as many childish double entendres about the dimunitive action star as we like.
If you haven't got round to reading the news today (well, we say 'news'...) Tom Cruise was on the receiving end of a practical joke last night at at the War of the Worlds premiere where a team from a new Channel 4 show posed as a camera crew in order to squirt Cruise in the face with a fake microphone (the best pictures are over at the Sun and there's video here).
Cruise, as you would expect, didn't really see the funny side and told his his 'assailant' in no uncertain terms: "You’re a jerk ... jerk ... you’re a jerk."
(Memorise that phrase right now, it's going to tbe the catchphrase of the Summer, mark our words)
The Channel 4 crew were arrested on assault charges and have since been bailed to be questioned at a later date.
A Channel 4 spokesperson said "The incident was for a new Channel 4 entertainment show part of which involves playing comedy pranks on celebrities and on members of the public. The water squirting was not intended to cause offence and was very much in a spirit of fun."
Playing comedy pranks on celebrities and on members of the public? The brainiacs on the 'new ideas' panel at Channel 4 must have been working overtime to come up with that one.