"There's Not A Lot Of Mud In Chelsea"

By Rob Last edited 180 months ago
"There's Not A Lot Of Mud In Chelsea"

Maybe not - but there's not an awful lot of bullshit.

Ask yourself - why would someone, a businessman to be exact, be concerned about the amount of mud to be found in the more 'well to do' parts of London?

Well, because he wants to sell it...in bottles...so people can spray it on their 4x4 vehicles.

Colin Dowse is a business consultant from Shropshire who is now sellign Spray On Mud to morons both in the US and here. The idea was dreamt up in the pub after he realised that people who owned these offroad vehicles wanted to give "friends, family and neighbours the impression you've just come back from a day's shooting, fishing or visiting friends who live on a farm; anything but driving around in town all day or visiting an out-of-town retail park."

For eight quid you get 0.75 litres of specially filtered dirty water to spray on your environmentally-unfirendly 4x4, or you can do what Alan 'works in advertising' Weavis, did and buy a bottle for a friend's birthday:

He's got this huge 4x4 Porsche Cayenne and as far as I know it's never ever been to the country. I thought it was a funny present. It went down really well with everyone, although he thought I was taking the mickey. Which is exactly what I was doing."

Wow! And you thought irony was dead.

Last Updated 14 June 2005