“I am not quite sure whether I am dreaming or remembering, whether I have lived my life or dreamed it. Just as dreams do, memory makes me profoundly aware of the unreality, the evanescence of the world, a fleeting image in the moving water.”
~ Eugene Ionesco
Chelsea, then. Not quite champions yet. Not quite one of Europe's best clubs. Not quite given the respect they think they deserve. They're away to Bolton on Saturday (kick-off 5.15pm live on Sky) in a match that should see them achieve one of the above.
Saturday also sees two clubs who although currently out of the relegation zone, are not quite safe yet. A win for Fulham against Everton should see them with enough points to almost guarantee safety, while Crystal Palace will probably need a win up at Newcastle just to keep their heads above water.
On Sunday even a win for Charlton at home to Man United (kick off 4.05pm, live on Sky) will not quite gloss over the Addicks' appalling end of season form. A little over a month ago they were still in the frame for a Champions' League place. They're now heading towards the lower-mid-table positions.
Also playing on Sunday are Tottenham who are at home to Aston Villa (kick-off 1pm). Two teams who are not quite in the European places, and a defeat for either side will probably end their UEFA Cup ambitions for another year.
On Bank Holiday Monday, Arsenal who have not quite been good enough this season are away to in-form West Brom (kick-off 8pm live on Sky). A win for the Gunners will not quite see them secure second spot.
Tonight in Division Two West Ham have a difficult game at home to Sunderland who have not quite won the championship (Championship championship?) (kick-off 7.45pm live on Sky). The Hammers will be without top scorer Teddy Sheringham for this one, and even a win tonight will see West Ham not quite secure a play-off spot - for that they'll need to beat Watford in their last game of the season.
Watford are at Stoke on Saturday where anything other than a win for the Hornets will not quite be good enough to avoid relegation yet. The club have arranged free travel to the game in an attempt to appease the fans, but have now promptly ruined the goodwill by announcing their new kit sponsors to be a firm of seedy loan sharks.
QPR and Millwall, who have been not quite good or bad enough to be at either end of the table can now start to focus on next season. But before that, QPR can confirm Nottingham Forest's relegation to the Third Division with a win at Loftus Road on Saturday and a win for Millwall away at Sheffield United will mean another season of Second Division football for the Blades next year.
In the Third, Brentford are not quite in the play-offs yet. They still have a game in hand over their rivals so while anything other than a win for the Bees at Luton wouldn't be disastrous, the three points would certainly help their cause.
And finally, Saturday will see mid-table Wycombe Wanderers entertain even-midder-table Leyton Orient. Will it be entertaining? We suspect not quite.