Wax On \m/ Wax Off

By sizemore Last edited 167 months ago
Wax On \m/ Wax Off

We don't want to give too much space over to rock wanker Justin Hawkins and his new wax model over at Madame Tussauds so we'll just give a quick run down of things we wish you could do to his effigy instead of simply playing air guitar in front of it:

Punch its waxy teeth in

Have the real Justin encased inside the wax by a reanimated Vincent Price

Donate ear wax to help generate a Spinal Tap sized lunchbox to terrify children

Stick pins in it and then watch a live video feed of the real Justin wincing

Have the wax models of real bands like Black Sabbath (circa 1972) give it a good kicking

Melt it down and have it remoulded into the shape of a phallus and see if anyone notices

Other 'music' news: Babyshambles are playing a matinee show tomorrow because of 'bad boy' Pete Doherty's curfew. If he behaves onstage he may be allowed to play out at the weekend, but he's still not allowed any sugary drinks as it makes him cranky.

Breaking (non-related) wax news: There is a remake of House of Wax on the way. The scary thing is not how feeble the new concept is, but rather that it features popular penis receptacle Paris Hilton. You can watch the trailer here and then go out and get drunk to wipe the experience from your mind.

Last Updated 17 March 2005