Police Stations Now More Like Train Stations

By Rob Last edited 165 months ago
Police Stations Now More Like Train Stations

What would you say we need more of in society? What would make our lives run smoother, cut down on daily frustration, and get things done more thoroughly with less mistakes?

That's right: computers!

Everyone knows computers are foolproof and are the answer to all life's problems. We know this because scientists tell us so. That's why Edmonton police station have decided to install a 'self-reporting crime kiosk' which allows people to bypass that whole troublesome 'human interaction' thing and report their crimes directly to a friendly slab of circuit boards.

In order to make the police station feel even more inhuman the Edmonton constabulary have also installed a 'matrix board' at the entrance to the station "welcoming visitors in seven different languages".

Seriously, how long before someone manages to hack into this so the good people of Edmonton see the words 3dm0Nt0N h4xx0rz r00l!!! on entering the local copshop?

But they didn't stop there - they've added one more genius touch that's 100% guaranteed to wind people up. The one social invention that can be relied upon to worsen people's moods within five minutes of exposure. Yes, they've introduced "a ticket dispenser for when the station is busy."

So if you're ever mugged in Edmonton, be prepared to take a ticket and wait to report the incident to north London's answer to HAL.

Last Updated 24 February 2005