Londonist is never one to advocate violence, and road rage stopped being interesting about three years ago. But when we read that two men in Tooting started "beating each other with planks" earlier this week, we have to admit our interest was peaked.
Were you outside Sainsbury's in Tooting Broadway at 7.21am on Wednesday morning (we sound a bit like Crimewatch now don't we)? If so, did you see two blokes going at each other in the middle of the road, armed with planks?
If you did can you explain to us exactly where they got the planks from? Because the newspaper report gives us no clue.
All we're told is that two cars bumped each other which led to a fight breaking out.
So, were the planks just lying around by the side of the road?
Or did a passing workman, who was carrying the planks over his shoulder, turn to see what all the fuss about, and catch one of the drivers round the back of the head in the classic comedy style?
If you have any information please get in touch...And remember, incidents involving maniacs with planks in Tooting are extremely rare. So please: don't have nightmares.
N.B. The plank pictured is purely for illustrative purposes. This plank has, as far as we know, never been involved in any violent incidents in its life.