This is what we have learned this weekend whilst you’ve been indulging those spring-time DIY pangs: LU has become very censorious of late. What’s to offend about a photo of a fat, pink-boxer-shorted Christ on the cross? A couple of shoppers were so worried about being caught for card fraud that they ran out of a Bromley store leaving their baby behind. High jinx in High Wycombe. Actually a bit more serious than that......

Bomb plot latest: police have found "a suitcase containing items which could be used to construct a bomb," in a piece of land in High Wycombe. An elderly passenger who travelled from Lincoln to London on a National Express coach (a four hour journey) has collapsed and died from deep vein thrombosis. Indymedia have a copy of Ken's automated reply which gets sent out to anyone enquiring about the plans to register cycles. Marks......

Lawrence Dallagio and Martin Johnson share some pretty special memories. Be it in Lions or England shirts, together they've conquered pretty much every peak that rugby union has to offer and along they way they have both thrown themselves into every single physical encounter with a ferocity that forever lingers on the edge of criminality. If you managed to sneek a close look at their wallets, the words 'bad muthafu*ka' would most definitely be......

In more life mirrors B-Movie news, unexplained swarms of "Super-Midges" are plaguing a business park in High Wycombe leaving possible consumers trapped in their cars too afraid to buy car-stereos. Adding more fuel to the "summat strange is goin' on 'ere" fire is the fact that midges are not normally around at this time of year, according to local retailer, fisherman, and unlikely hero, John Stroud. Stroud has his own theories as to what's going......