23 February 2017 | 7 °C

Midge Mayhem

By london_euan Last edited 144 months ago
Midge Mayhem

midge.jpgIn more life mirrors B-Movie news, unexplained swarms of "Super-Midges" are plaguing a business park in High Wycombe leaving possible consumers trapped in their cars too afraid to buy car-stereos.

Adding more fuel to the "summat strange is goin' on 'ere" fire is the fact that midges are not normally around at this time of year, according to local retailer, fisherman, and unlikely hero, John Stroud.

Stroud has his own theories as to what's going on, theories that local close-minded scientists would probably laugh at if he discussed it with them. "It's like the ones here are some kind of super midge" he surmised before narrowly avoiding being carried away in a giant midge's razor sharp mandibles.

Diving under a nearby car for refuge, and fumbling around for spilt shotgun shells, the in no way alarmist Stroud, went on to conspire "It seems a strange coincidence that as soon as they started to decommission the sewage works behind us that the midges suddenly appeared in their swarms"

Unfortunately he was unable to expand his theories to explain the recent green glow coming from an area of the sewage works which should be deserted, and the presence of numerous unmarked vans leaving the area at night, as a new strain of the now mutating midges, the burrowing mole-midge, came-up from beneath the ground dragging Stroud back into its tunnel and a probable confrontation with their Queen.

Last Updated 21 February 2005