The wait is over. Flexpetz is finally here. We teased you with their pay as you go pup service way back in July last year so you poor, poor dogless wonders have been chewing the arm of the sofa, pulling our your own hair and weeing on the carpet in impatience for many, many months now.

It's time though. Get out the chucking sticks, get out those poo bags (yes, you have to pick up the poo) - it's your opportunity to fritter £279 a month of your hard earned cash on renting a dog to be your fake friend for a few hours.

Apparently, 100 prospective hound hirers have already signed up for the service, starved of animal love and incapable of walking in the park just for the hell of it. But there's only one dog being pimped in our city as yet so little Gucci (yes, Gucci) is going to be one busy bundle of tiny yappy fluff for the foreseeable if they all want a piece of him.

Consumerism's gone doggone crazy. Do us a favour, aspirant dog owners; get your fix volunteering at a shelter or bite the bullet and actually give a dog a home.

Check out volunteering opportunities and dog adoption at Battersea Cats and Dogs Home, the Mayhew Animal Home or Dogs Trust.

Image courtesy of grange85's Flickrstream.