The 26-30 Railcard went on sale this morning, much to the joy of young people everywhere. Except there were only 10,000 available for a demographic of 5 million. And the website crashed. And then they all sold out anyway. Needless to say, lots of young people are now miffed.
Miss out? Yeah, us too. Perhaps you'll find it easier to find one of these in London:
1. A healthy pigeon with two whole, intact feet
One thing we notice whenever we go to another city is how damn healthy the pigeons look — all glossy feathers and whole feet. London's own pigeons largely make do with gnarled stumps. In fact, we'd say we could count on one hand the number of times we've seen a healthy pigeon in London... but isn't that a bit insensitive?
2. A Pret barista who'll give you a freebie
We say our pleases and thank yous. We smile charmingly. We ask them about their day. Every single day. And yet not once have we been a beneficiary of that £35 of food and drink that each Pret barista gives away for free each week. Yeah we know, it's our latte habit that's stopping us affording a house, but given that we can't afford to live anywhere — and now can't afford to travel anywhere — we'll take our pleasures where we can.
3. A pub that doesn't claim that Charles Dickens once drank there
It's a wonder that Dickens bloke got any writing done, the amount of time he must have spent drinking if every claim is to be believed. We hereby plan a Dickensian pub crawl to drown our sorrows.
4. A Tory council in after the May elections
5. A copy of NME
The 66 year-old magazine announced the end of its print edition last week. In the future, copies may be worth hundreds, if not thousands, to magazine collectors. So about the same amount of money we would have saved had we managed to get ourselves a Railcard then. Still not bitter.
6. A Lobster card
Yes, we've got one. No, we're not telling you where we got it, what it's for, or how you can get one. Much like the government's approach to Railcards. Next.
7. A one-bed flat for under £200,000
Yeah, OK, maybe not. But let us dream, eh?