Things to do today is sponsored by the Houses of Parliament.
What we're reading
- Smash and grab raids at London designer stores
- In full swing: Tate turns into a giant playground
- Everything you need to know about the TFL tube strike
- Announced: New Michelin-starred restaurants (to save up for) for 2018
Things to do
MAKERS MINI MARKET: They say great things come in small packages. Find out at this pop up mini-market selling goodies from east London’s up-and-coming designers and artists. Finsbury Avenue Square, free entry, just turn up, 11am-6pm, until 7 October
LONDON FILM FESTIVAL: The 61st BFI London Film Festival kicks off today. Highlights throughout include a film about Velvet Underground icon Nico and Manhunt, a new thriller from John Woo screening on the last day of the festival. Various venues and prices, book ahead, until 15 October
BIG LONDON BAKE: Think you could do better than this year's GBBO contestants? Get your apron on and compete with other cookery fiends in this timed 90-minute contest. The Castle Tooting, £36.50, book ahead, until 19 November
SUFFRAGETTE WALK: On this day in 1903, the Women's Social and Political Union was founded. Join this suffragette walking tour to mark the anniversary and help fundraise for a statue of leading suffragette Annie Kenney. St James Park Tube Station, £15, book ahead, 6pm*
MOONCAKE PARTY: You know summer is over when the Mooncake comes out. To celebrate China's mid-autumn festival Soho's Bun House is throwing what's been billed as London's first Mooncake party. Get your fill of the traditional pastry alongside cocktails and vinyl tunes. Tea Room, £12, book ahead, 6pm-2am
CRAP FILM CLUB: You know those films that are so bad they're good? That's what Crap Film Club is all about. Tonight see 1984 post-apocalyptic thriller Rats: Night of Terror for a terribly cheesy pre-Halloween treat. The Book Club, £5, book ahead, 7pm-10pm
STRIKE A POSE: House of Ghetto is a Manchester-based female collective who love to vogue. See them in action tonight alongside a new video installation as part of And What? Queer Arts Festival. Rich Mix, free, just turn up, 6pm
ARTIST TALK: She's the pioneering bad-ass performance artist constantly pushing her body (and our squeamishness) to its limit. Tonight Marina Abramovic chats about her work with Hans Ulrich Obrist, artistic director of the Serpentine Galleries. Tickets are sold out but more are released in a sweepstake. Failing that, the event will be streamed live on Facebook. Serpentine Sackler Gallery, book ahead, 7pm
ROCK N ROLL BINGO: Who said Bingo was for oldies? Join Jade for a night of music-themed Bingo, where the prizes include booze (not Werther's Originals). Star of Bethnal Green, £1 per round, just turn up, 7.30pm-11.30pm
GLORIOUS NOISE: Poetry from the diaspora is tonight's theme in celebration of the UK-India Year of Culture 2017. Come hear five South Asian poets share their varied life experiences through spoken word. National Poetry Library, free, book ahead, 8pm
LAUGH TRAIN HOME: Phil Kay, Jasper Cromwell-Jones, Jenny Collier and MC Robyn Perkins are on the bill at Laugh Train Home stand-up comedy night tonight. The Four Thieves (Battersea), £7, book ahead, 8.30pm-10.30pm
Play Prime Minister for the day at the Houses of Parliament
Not a politician? No worries — you can still step inside the impressive Houses of Parliament and explore the building where history is written. Tour through the Commons and Lords Chamber before taking in the almost 1000-year-old Westminster Hall.
Follow in the footsteps of the Queen at the State Opening and get up close to the famous Speaker’s Chair and Woolsack. While you’re there, we recommend you kick back with a stunning afternoon tea in the Thames-side room.
These Houses of Parliament tours will enlighten you on all the nooks and crannies in one of the country’s most important buildings — book now to experience it for yourself.
Art review: Glittery Insects
Eight photographers come together in this eye-catching group show with the x-ray lightboxes of Toni Gallagher and the sumptuous abstract landscapes of Eleanor Cunningham. The standouts for us are the dead insects that are made to sparkle by Carolyn Brown, using items like syrup and glitter. Strange Lands at Shotgun Studios, 37 Churchfield Road, Acton Central, W3 6AY. Until 13 October, free. ★★★☆☆ (Wednesday-Saturday)
Theatre review: More of a whimper than a bang
What should be a fascinating examination of the motivations of terrorists is actually a crashing bore in Chilean writer Guillermo Calderon’s short play. Two women plan a protest with a bomb designed to instil fear with noise alone, but end up engaging with a man who presents them with a nail bomb. The humour falls flat and the piece is hindered by the fact that the cast have their faces covered for most of the play. For an 80-minute piece, this limps along relentlessly. B, The Royal Court Theatre, Sloane Square, SW1W 8AS, £12-38, until 31 October ★★☆☆☆ (Tuesdays to Saturdays at either 7pm or 9pm) Chris Bridges
Good cause of the day: Help Fat Macy's open a permanent restaurant
Fat Macy's doesn't just run any old supper club. It uses its elaborate pop up dinner parties to train young Londoners living in temporary accommodation and help them save up for their own home. Now the social enterprise is crowdfunding to open its first permanent restaurant and it's offering a range of goodies, from supper club tickets to cookery classes in exchange for your dosh. Donate via Space Hive.
Fun things to do with our friends and sponsor Funzing...
London is a city of incredible transformation. With structural remains that date back to ancient history still in existence, this unique walking tour takes in Lost London in all its former glory. From the Titanic booking office to the graveyards of man's best friend, you'll discover the weird and wonderful places that used to exist in the capital but are now only committed to memory. Using old photographs, newspaper cuttings and stories from the past, you'll be amazed at what has largely been written out of our history books... Get tickets
Whether you’re a pre-grated cheddar sprinkler or mimolette fan, this cheesy walking tour will delight your senses. Starting off at a cheese counter in Mayfair that has been serving for more than 300 years, you'll tour the city's best dairy delights - including Fortnum & Mason, where the royals get their fix. Get tickets
Track the journey of humanity through this tour around the British Museum. The tour aims to help you understand why the world is the way it is, and show how humans learned to question absolutely everything. Get tickets
Take to the waters and glide about in this beginner paddleboarding session. By the end of it, you'll be standing up and paddling solo, and there's plenty of help on hand to improve your technique. Change of clothes required. Get tickets
*correction: the Suffragette Walk takes place on 10 October (next Tuesday).