Things To Do Today In London: Wednesday 21 December 2016

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Things to do today is sponsored by Yamaha Music London.

Ice Skating at Somerset House. Photo: Wing

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Things To Do

ICE SKATING: Looking to hit the ice just before Christmas day? Check out our list of London's best spots.

KIDS COMEDY CLUB: Every child who has dreamed of Santa sliding down their chimney, landing in their living room and breaking out into a stand-up set will love Comedy Club 4 Kids at artsdepot in Finchley. £9, book in advance, 4.30pm

YOU ARE WOLF: The Nest Collective, which brings you some of the world's finest folk, is taking over The Royal Festival Hall. Music is from You Are Wolf, who fuse leftfield pop and classic stylings, melded together with an array of wild vocal techniques. Free, book in advance, 5.30pm

DICKENS HOUSE BY CANDLELIGHT: Explore Charles Dickens' home by candlelight which in his own words "decidedly improves the scene." £20, book in advance, from 6.40pm

JAYDE ADAMS: Jayde Adams turned 31 and realised that her route to happiness was being herself... in her own words: a total dickhead. 31 is her new comedy show at The Soho Theatre where Jaye Adams is totally herself. £10, book in advance, 7pm-8pm

Bowjangles: A ChristmasH Carol

CANDLE MAKING & COCKTAILS: Quaff mulled wine and stuff your face with cake, while you learn how to make festive scented candles. After the session, enjoy seasonal live music. At Woodberry Wetlands near Manor House. £25, book in advance, 7pm-10pm

GOSPELOKE: Throw karaoke and a back-up gospel choir into a blender and what do you get? Gospeloke of course. Unleash your hidden diva in this special Christmas themed event in Hoxton Square Bar and Kitchen. £12 table options also available, book in advance, 7pm-11pm

GREATEST TELEVISION SHOW NEVER SEEN: This comedy podcast comes from the wacky mind of Adam Riches and other top comedians. The Sword of Maximum Damage is a popular (fake) TV show, so why not check out The Pod of Maximum Damage, a fan podcast about the show. Happening at Kings Place. £7.50, book in advance, 7.30pm-8.30pm

A CHRISTMASH CAROL: Cabaret string quartet Bowjangles present A ChristmasH Carol at Waterloo East Theatre. Think part panto, part moralistic tale. £12, advance booking recommended, from 7.30pm

DEAD FISH LOVE STORY: Gemma and Josie had two pet fish, Sunny and Boo. The fish died and this new play, Goggles, is an attempt to give Sunny and Boo the happy ending they deserved. Through mourning for their fish, the play focuses on the relationship between Gemma and Josie and their personal struggle to stay afloat. At the Pleasance Theatre, £10, book in advance, from 7.45pm

Give a musical Christmas gift with Yamaha Music London

Stuck for what to buy the music-lover in your life this Christmas? Head to Yamaha Music London, for instruments, technology and accessories that any aspiring musician will love.

Based just five minutes from Oxford Street, this is London’s ultimate instrument emporium. Even those who have never learned how to play Chopsticks will be wowed by their epic Piano Hall.

Forget iTunes vouchers, an instrument is the perfect present for those who fancy themselves as the next Ronnie Scott (this really is the gift that keeps on giving).

Or pick from Yamaha’s fantastic selection of music-related gifts and accessories.

Experts will be on hand to give you advice whether you're puzzled about plectrums or overwhelmed by oboes.

Yamaha Music London is open every Friday in December until 7pm, and even open on Christmas Eve until 4pm. Check out their festive opening hours here.

Robert Mapplethorpe: Many penises

© Robert Mapplethorpe, courtesy of Alison Jacques Gallery

(We weren't huge fans of this, but maybe it will be your cup of tea).

LOTS OF PENISES: Photographer Robert Mapplethorpe's works have been curated by living photographer Juergen Teller. There is nudity aplenty in this confrontational exhibition. However, Mapplethorpe's photos are no longer controversial and beyond this, they have very little to offer. Teller on Mapplethorpe at Alison Jacques, 16-18 Berners street, W1T 3LN, free. 18 November-7 January ★★☆☆☆ [Tuesday-Saturday] Closed from 22 December-3 January

Good cause of the day

LONDON ZOO STAMPEDE: Don't worry, the animals aren't on the loose. You could be though. Book in advance for either the 5k or 10k run to raise funds for wildlife, in the London Zoo Stampede. £34 registration fee and you need to pledge to raise £50, first come first serve, 26 March 2017 and 17 September 2017