What we're reading:
- Property bosses clamp down on the white van man in bid to protect London business.
- The best bar in the world is in London.
- Man guilty of Tube push murder attempt.
- Ugly but delicious dishes in London.
- Oscar Wilde's former London pied-a-terre is becoming a hotel.
Things to do:
EMERALD ISLE: Get your munch on and sample a selection of the Emerald Isle's finest produce. There's everything from fine cheese and cured meats to baked goods, so you can eat your way around Ireland without ever leaving central London. Selfridges Food Hall (Marylebone), free, just turn up, 9.30am-9pm
MOVEMENT WORKSHOP: Throw shapes under the tutelage of artist and dancer Zinzi Minott at this movement workshop for kids. Serpentine Gallery (Kensington), free, book ahead, 10.30am
COSMIC DAWN: Encounter outer space during this lunchtime lecture on the Big Bang, definitely better than a sandwich at your desk. UCL Darwin Lecture Theatre (Euston), free, book ahead, 1.10pm-2pm
WOMEN IN MATHEMATICS: Who knew maths could be subversive? Since time immemorial women have had a love for numbers, yet had to defy social norms to be heard in the field. Professor June Barrow-Green reveals their stories and the rebellious nature of women in maths. Guildhall Art Gallery (City of London), free, book ahead, 2pm-3pm
TEXAS TAKEOVER: Head down to The Roadhouse for a night of music Texas style. Featuring stars of The Voice USA, this is the first in the series of Southern takeovers that brings a little slice of life from across the pond to inner London. Yee-haw. The Roadhouse (Covent Garden), free, book ahead, 5.30pm-late
TUMBLR EXHIBITION: The social media platform has gone beyond hipsters and now plays host to a ton of renowned visual artists. This exhibition brings the best together with works exploring mental health and the human psyche through multimedia and Augmented Reality. Hoxton Arches (Hoxton), free, book ahead, 6pm
GIN AND CHOCOLATE: Join the experts for a delicious masterclass celebrating the synergy between handmade chocolate and English gin. Led by a master chocolatier, eat and drink your way through a mouthwatering selection of pairings while learning all about the processes that make them so tasty. Hayman's Gin Distillery (Balham), £35, book ahead, 6.30pm-8pm
BREXIT FARCE: Five comedians battle it out to have their very own Brexit strategies signed, sealed and delivered to the big boys at 10 Downing Street. Expect lots of laughs and about as many viable options as the government currently has. The Miller (London Bridge), £7, book ahead, 7pm-9pm
SOD'S LAW: Let yourself be led through a musical history of all things queer by the one and only Lord Hicks, a cabaret star as street as he is snooty. Pleasance Theatre (Islington), £12, book ahead, 7.45pm
ROLLER DERBY: Theatre meets skating in this gender political performance based on the fast and furious world of roller derby. Battersea Arts Centre (Battersea), £13, book ahead, 8.30pm-9.30pm
Good cause of the day
Check out the capsule collection of charity t-shirts for Compos Mentis featuring some of the biggest names in photography. Each one is emblazoned with an awesome print from the likes of Maisie Willoughby and Chris Rhodes, and the proceeds go towards MQ Mental Health.