Things To Do Today In London: Thursday 30 March

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Things to do today is sponsored by Cityread.

Damon Brown at Map Cafe

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Things to do today

NATIONAL ARMY MUSEUM: After a three year refurbishment, this Chelsea Museum reopens to the public today. Find out about the British Army and its impact on society. Discover what it's like to serve as a soldier — and learn all about Britain's most highly decorated ass. National Army Museum, free entry, just turn up, 10am-5.30pm every day

HAND TIED FLOWERS: Learn how to make a bouquet of spring flowers with this free workshop in Waterloo. Materials are provided, but are first come first served, so get there early. Lower Marsh, Waterloo, free, book ahead, noon-3pm

ANIMAL TOUR: Explore the Wellcome Collection's Making Nature exhibition with UCL professor of biology, Helen Chatterjee. Wellcome Collection, free, just turn up, 6pm-6.45pm

ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE: What will happen when artificial intelligence and the internet meet the professions? In other words, is a robot going to turf you out of your job anytime soon? That's the topic of this evening's Gresham lecture. Barnard's Inn Hall, free, just turn up, 6pm-7pm

FLAMENCO: It's time for a celebration of Latin American dance. Prepare yourself for a performance of wild fun, laid on by Morley College's students and teachers. Morley College, £6/£8, book ahead, 7.30pm-8.30pm

Flamenco at Morley College

FALSE SCIENCE: Londonist's own Matt Brown will be telling you why Everything You Know About Science Is Wrong. His new book picks apart some of the most-famous science 'facts'... you might want a word with your old science teacher by the end of the evening. The Bell, Spitalfields, £4, book ahead, 7.45pm

PLAYGROUND ANTICS: Relive your childhood in the Playstation (not the video game console). Dip into a sea of nostalgia for games more including duck, duck, goose, alongside some new treats. Wac Arts, £10, book ahead, 7.30pm-9pm

JAZZ NIGHT: Get some speakeasy vibes down at Kentish Town's Map Cafe, with jazz trumpeter Damon Brown. Map Studio Cafe, £10, book ahead, 8pm

LYING CONTEST: The wonderful storytelling squad The Crick Crack Club present the 2017 edition of The Grand Annual Lying Contest. People tell fabricated stories or tales of fibbing and a winner will be crowned by judges (well versed in the realm of leg-pulling we believe). Rich Mix, £7, book ahead, 8pm

FREE COMEDY: Sheraz Yousaf, Jimmy Bird and Jo Coffey are among the comedians on the bill at this free comedy evening. If you're willing to splash out a bit, treat yourself to some of the venue's legendary pizza while you watch the show. The Dogstar, Brixton, free, Just turn up, 8pm-10.30pm

NINA SIMONE: Nina Simone's drummer of 18 years, Paul Robinson, supports dramatic and gutsy singer Gill Manly who's performing her classics tonight. Brasserie Zedel, £20, book ahead, 9pm


Sponsor message

Go back in time at this Elizabethan immersive experience

Don your cloak and explore the historic cloisters of the Charterhouse in this immersive, participatory experience.

Picture this: Cecily Ashe has been murdered and her body lies at the Charterhouse. The Queen's spymaster suspects a plot to overthrow the crown and calls on international man of mystery Giordano Bruno to recruit a band of spies. This is where you come in. Help to uncover the truth at this night of historical intrigue. The event is part of this year's Elizabethan themed Cityread programme.

Book your tickets here for Prophecy — Behind Closed Doors. The event runs at weekends in April.


Art review: jump into a skip

A white skip has appeared in Hoxton Square, but rather than old sofas, this one contains an art exhibition. Step into the darkness with headphones on for an immersive experience focussing on the death of the artist's mother. The unique setting only adds to the atmosphere. Skip Gallery at Hoxton Square, until 2 April, free ★★★★☆ (Thursday-Sunday) Tabish Khan

Theatre review: Chinese cracker

Photo: Richard Davenport for the other Richard

An American signage manufacturer stumbles through hilarious mistranslations and the fog of understanding to win a contract and possibly the heart of a crisp and wanton female politician. Although free from stereotyping, character development is secondary to the brisk comedy in David Henry Hwang's genuinely laugh-out-loud Chinglish, smartly staged by Andrew Keates with finessed comic turns like Siu-see Hung's dodgy translator, and a juicy Mandarin romance making the point that words don't matter if you love how his lips move. Chinglish, Park Theatre, Clifton Terrace, N4 3JP, £20-£29.50, until 22 April ★★★★☆ [Monday-Saturday] Johnny Fox

Good cause for the day

GOAT FOOD: Gone with the Goat is a supper club by Women For Rwanda, that aims to help Rwandan women support themselves with goats. To aid this, eat a lot of delicious goat-based food. Stoke Newington, £25, book ahead, 7.30pm

Fun things to do with our friends and sponsor Funzing...

London's Grime & Punishment Tour


Learn about London's debauched, drunken and disorderly history on this tour of the sordid side of the West End. Have you heard the story of the 15ft high tsunami of beer which rushed through the streets of London? Or about London's unluckiest theatre and most morbidly-located church? This tour will take you from the Covent Garden to Somerset House, entertaining you with tales of hangmen and criminals, prostitutes and paupers and the eccentric characters of Georgian London along the way.    Get tickets

Unlock Urban Camden: Street Art Tour


Camden's known for its street art, but how much do you really know about it? Explore the street art of Camden, and learn about the people who make it from an insider. You''ll visit pieces of street art that are off the beaten track, and get an insight into their possible meaning and inspiration. This two-hour tour will enable you to see Camden in a new light. Get tickets

Hidden London Tour


Visit old pubs, even older churches, hidden rivers, mysterious tunnels and more on this tour of hidden Londo. You'll hear tales of the myths and legends which made the City of London what it is today, and find out the area's links to nursery rhymes and literary figures. Get tickets

The Ultimate Harry Potter London Tour


Get sorted into one of the four magical houses of Hogwarts, and go in exploration of the city’s famous filming locations on this 2-hour walking tour. You’ll meet your guide outside the Palace Theatre, where Harry Potter and the Cursed Child is showing, and set off on your journey across town - following in the footsteps of Deatheaters, visiting the inspiration for Knocturn Alley, and marvelling at the Ministry of Magic. And you better brush up on your Potter knowledge, because you can earn points for your house along the way, by taking part in trivia quizzes. The winners? You’ll find out when the tour ends at Platform 9 3/4… Get tickets