What we’re reading
- Over half of Heathrow's 79,000 noise complaints in 2017 came from ten people.
- Chelsea stadium: £1bn Stamford Bridge hit by family dispute.
- Harrods set to return statue of Princess Diana and Dodi to Fayed.
- Rodin's work to go on show in London next to Parthenon marbles.
Things to do
FREE HOXTON MINI PRESS BOOK: Instead of consigning its minorly blemished books to the bins, Hoxton Mini Press is handing out 1,500 copies of its top seller I’ve Lived in East London For 86.5 Years at Old Street, Farringdon, King’s Cross and Shoreditch High Street Overground from 7.30am onwards — be quick. Free, just turn up, from 7.30am
FREE CAKE: It's Blue Monday today, and because the most depressing of days can be turned around with free cake, Konditor & Cook's six London stores are handing out 5,000 free Skinny Cappuccino Cork (bite-sized) Cakes. They are butter free and low sugar – so you won't break whatever diet you're on this January. Konditor & Cook, free, just turn up, all day (while stocks last)
FREE LUNCH: There's nothing like a free lunch to blast away the blues on what's being described as the most depressing day of the year. Sign up for a code via the website, which you can exchange for Rola Wala's new black bean noodle spice bowl today. Rola Wala (Spitalfields), free, book ahead, 11am-2.30pm
CURATOR'S TALK: Hear the inspiring tale of Caroline Lucretia Herschel, who was denied an education but went on to become a professional singer and respected astronomer. Jewish Museum (Camden), free with museum entry, just turn up, 3pm-3.20pm
REGENT'S CANAL TALK: History and canal nerds will enjoy this illustrated presentation, dredging the murky waters of Regent's Canal to bring to the surface the juicy details of the 1817 Regency scandal. Guildhall Library, £5.98, book ahead, 6pm-8pm
CHRISTIE'S LATE: Get serious interior design envy at the lifestyle edition of this Christie's Late. Join the agile yogis, pick up sportswear from OUTNET.COM and make a mental note of how you want your home to look once you've won the lottery. Christie's (South Kensington), free, just turn up, 6pm-8.30pm
SCI-FI SESSIONS: Looking for your next fantasy read? Hear three fantastic authors working in this sub-genre chat about its allure and the difficulties of creating a convincing world. Waterstones Gower Street, £6/£4, book ahead, 6.30pm
CALM DOWN DEAR: If you're sick of hearing that phrase then you'll adore this sass-filled feminist theatre festival headlined by Racheal Ofori’s So Many Reasons. This year, the festival's fifth, turns the spotlight on artists of colour. Camden People's Theatre, various prices, book ahead, 15 January-4 February
BOOKS USED AND ABUSED: Are you a page folder? Do you doodle in the margins? Or leave cryptic notes in the books you devour? Then you'll identify with this new exhibition on why books are customised, adorned and disguised. Guildhall Library, free, just turn up, 15 January-9 March
WINTER HAPPINESS FESTIVAL: Feeling glum? You're not alone, but Londoners are being cheered up with an adult ball pit, laughing yoga, 'gratitude bingo', a chocolate cafe and more at the Winter Happiness Festival. Tickets are on sale today — be quick, there's a lot of sad souls out there that could do with jumping into a giant ball pit. Museum of Happiness, £5, book ahead, 20 January-4 February
Good cause of the day: Turn Blue Monday into Brew Monday
It's pretty chilly, you're probably pretty broke and pretty bored if you're in the throes of Dry January but you can blast those blues away with a chat with the Samaritans over a cuppa in exchange for a donation in central London today. Kingly Court, free, just turn up, 8am-11am
Fun things to do with our friends and sponsor Funzing...
Learn about London's debauched, drunken and disorderly history on this tour of the sordid side of the West End. Have you heard the story of the 15ft high tsunami of beer which rushed through the streets of London? Or about London's unluckiest theatre and most morbidly-located church? This tour will take you from the Covent Garden to Somerset House, entertaining you with tales of hangmen and criminals, prostitutes and paupers and the eccentric characters of Georgian London along the way. Get tickets
Camden's known for its street art, but how much do you really know about it? Explore the street art of Camden, and learn about the people who make it from an insider. You''ll visit pieces of street art that are off the beaten track, and get an insight into their possible meaning and inspiration. This two-hour tour will enable you to see Camden in a new light. Get tickets
Visit old pubs, even older churches, hidden rivers, mysterious tunnels and more on this tour of hidden Londo. You'll hear tales of the myths and legends which made the City of London what it is today, and find out the area's links to nursery rhymes and literary figures. Get tickets
Get sorted into one of the four magical houses of Hogwarts, and go in exploration of the city’s famous filming locations on this 2-hour walking tour. You’ll meet your guide outside the Palace Theatre, where Harry Potter and the Cursed Child is showing, and set off on your journey across town - following in the footsteps of Deatheaters, visiting the inspiration for Knocturn Alley, and marvelling at the Ministry of Magic. And you better brush up on your Potter knowledge, because you can earn points for your house along the way, by taking part in trivia quizzes. The winners? You’ll find out when the tour ends at Platform 9 3/4… Get tickets