Things To Do This Week In London: 5-11 February 2018

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Ham House © Sophie Johnson

WINTER WALKIES: Thinking about taking a trip to the 'burbs? This time you don't have to leave your four-legged pal at home (provided they're on a lead). You and your pet can sniff out the grounds, play doggy bingo in the cafe and every dog gets a free bone to chew on entry. Ham House, £11, just turn up, until 9 February

THE WAR HAS NOT YET STARTED: Less an acute criticism and more an exposé of the dystopian riddles of modern life, The War Has Not Yet Started is impressively executed and pleasurable to watch – despite being both provocative and disturbing. Read our four star review here. Southwark Playhouse, £20/£16, book ahead, until 10 February

MALT + PEPPER X REDCHURCH: The absolute lads of London's foodie scene who cook up beer-infused dishes have teamed up with Redchurch Brewery to create a menu based entirely around the brewer's beers. Eastbound & Down Arches, Cambridge Heath Road, various prices, 5-11 February

GISELLE: Adolphe Adam’s Giselle of 1841 tells the story of a peasant girl who falls in love with Albrecht, a Count who has wooed her while disguised as a villager. When she discovers who he really is and that their love can never be, she stabs herself, but that is only the first half of the story. Intrigued? Read our four star review here. Royal Opera House, £5-£125, book ahead, until 9 March


DATING WITH A DIFFERENCE: Freshen up your dating game this year with Mai Tai's one-of-a-kind After-Work Cocktail Parties. Grab a Mojito or a Manhattan and mingle with like-minded professionals as you get into your groove. It's time to ditch the dodgy dating apps and put the awkward small talk behind you because this expertly curated event comes with laughter and top notch yummy food. Miss it... miss out. L'Anima, £30, book ahead, 28 February, 7pm-9pm (sponsor)

Monday 5 February

Learn about St.Agata Festival while tucking into a Sicilian feast.

SICILY CULTURE TALK AND MEAL: Tuck into a tasty Italian mean washed down with Sicilian wine, while journalist Francesca Marchese fills you in on Sicilian culture and the traditions behind the centuries-old St. Agata Festival. Tasting Sicily Enzo's Kitchen, £25, book ahead, 6.30pm-9pm

CHILDREN'S LITERATURE TALK: Julia Eccleshare invites you to take a trip down the rabbit hole of your memories of bedtime stories. She'll recall tales of Beatrix Potter, Enid Blyton, J R R Tolkien, Roald Dahl and how they've influenced authors down the years in this illustrated talk. The British Library, £12/£10, book ahead, 7pm-8.15pm

POST TRUTH WORLD DEBATE: Polly Toynbee hosts this discussion on the arrival of the 'post-truth' era and what it means for those of us living through it. A live DJ takes over from 8.30pm to save us all from getting depressed. ICA, £8, book ahead, 7.30pm

HOW THE VOTE WAS WON: See a rare staged reading of How the Vote was Won, on the 100th anniversary of the Representation of the People Act, which granted most women in Britain the vote. All proceeds will be split between Sisters Uncut and the Fawcett Society. Bunker Theatre, £12/£10, book ahead, 7.30pm

Tuesday 6 February

Banff Mountain Film Festival lets you unleash your wild side… from the comfort of a cinema seat. © John Price

POETRY AND SCIENCE: Behind every great scientist is a great poet according to this talk from literary historian Gregory Tate, who unpicks the poetry of two 19th century scientists who worked at the Royal Institution. Royal Institution, £16/£10, book ahead, 7pm-8.30pm

SYRIAN SUPPERCLUB: Fill your tum with delicious Syrian cuisine whipped up by two London food bloggers, who are donating all the proceeds to UNICEF for Syrian refugees. The Canvas Cafe (Spitalfields), £37.27, book ahead, 7pm-9pm

BANFF MOUNTAIN FILM FESTIVAL: Adrenaline junkies can live vicariously through the fearless explorers and intrepid film-makers you'll encounter at this awe-inspiring film festival. New Wimbledon Theatre, £16, book ahead, 7.30pm-10.30pm

BRAVE NEW WORLD: Emerging writers, actors and directors showcase their utopian and dystopian visions of the future. Arcola Theatre, Dalston, £12, book ahead, 8pm-10pm, repeated tomorrow

BE MY BLOODY VALENTINE: An international cast present this new comedy inspired by traditional French farces and adapted by Allez Hop!. Drayton Arms Theatre, £12, book ahead, until 10 February

VFX FESTIVAL: Gamers: Step away from your consoles and get down to Rich Mix, where you can discover the tech behind the latest games, animation and motion graphics. Rich Mix (Shoreditch), £55, book ahead, 6-8 February

Wednesday 7 February

Union Chapel © Andrew Firth

LONDON CHARTERHOUSE: Listen to a talk about this ancient Charterhouse which only opened its doors to the public in 2017, yet has a long history stretching all the way back to 1348, when it was a burial ground for Black Death victims. Society of Genealogists (Islington), £8, book ahead, 2pm-3pm

ILLUMINATED LETTERS: Millie Nice teaches you how to create and illustrate illuminated letters in colour the old school way, inspired by traditional manuscript illustration. Ben Uri Gallery, £15-£17, book ahead, 6.30pm-8.30pm

TRE VOCI CONCERT: Liven up your Wednesday with fresh sounds and a bit of funky improv from experimental cello ensemble Tre Voci, who are performing their new EP in this stunning church venue. Union Chapel (Islington), £8-£15, book ahead, 7.30pm-10pm

VALENTINE'S ATTRACTION LAB: This V-day event skips the mushy stuff and goes straight in for the science. While blindfolded you'll discover what the odour of sweat tells you about a prospective partner, how eating raw carrots transforms your capacity for flirtation, and why long vocal chords are sexy. The Book Club (Shoreditch), £15, book ahead, 7.30pm-10.30pm

EALING MUSIC & FILM VALENTINE FESTIVAL: Ealing will be awash with live music straddling all genres from classical to blues, funk and soul at this festival celebrating the borough's cultural heritage. You can also see locally produced films, and films where Ealing is the backdrop. University of West London, Ealing, £20, book ahead, until 11 February

Thursday 8 February

Ten of London’s best pizza traders serve up unmissable specials on National Pizza Day.

MAKERVERSITY'S MATERIAL EXPLORATIONS: From lab-grown meat to genetic data privacy, this futuristic series delves into synthetic biology. You can even have a go at brewing your own kombucha. Somerset House, £8, book ahead, 11am-8pm

PIZZA PARTY: The pizza palace of your dreams has rocked up just in time for National Pizza Day. Alonside pizza from master dough stretchers Pizza Pilgrims, L'Antica Pizzeria da Michele, Sodo Pizza and more there will be ice cream for afters from Chin Chin Labs. Diet? What diet? Hawker House, £15, book ahead, 6pm-midnight

LATE DEBATE: Try on 1890s women's cycling clothes, brush up on your feminist facts and listen to an expert-packed panel as they muse on how far women's rights have come and how far they still have to go. This Late Debate is part of celebrations marking 100 years since the first women in Britain were given the right to vote. London Transport Museum, £15, book ahead, 6.45pm-10pm

SWEARING IS GOOD FOR YOU: Science writer Emma Byrne explores the close connection between bad language and our emotions to shed light on the latest in the neuroscience and origins of swearing. Finally, you can justify all those unprovoked sweary rants, maybe. Royal Institution, £16/£10, book ahead, 7pm-8.30pm

FIVE POINTS BEER PAIRING: Best arrive hungry for this one — Capish? is serving up a five-course feast paired with five beers from Five Points Brewery, with some limited edition art thrown in for good measure. Capiche? Mason & Company (Stratford), £38.23, book ahead, 7pm-10pm

Friday 9 February

SOUL TALK YOGA: This one hour yoga session is followed by an interactive bit involving organic chocolate.  If only all exercise was this indulgent. Evolve Wellness Centre, South Kensington, £25, book ahead, 11.30am-1.30pm

LITERALLY SWISS: Expect great book chat, from Swiss and British writers, including literary heavyweights Alain de Botton and Deborah Levy, plus food, wine and music. The Tabernacle (Notting Hill), £14/£9, book ahead, 6pm-9.30pm

SUFFRAGETTE: See the feminist blockbuster Suffragette starring Carey Mulligan and Meryl Streep before exploring the real life documents which inspired the film. The National Archives (Kew), £6.40-£8, book ahead, 6pm-9pm

MAID OF CABBAGE: Trapped in a dysfunctional household, will an Edwardian(ish) maid’s devilish streak ruin everything or will the cabbage save her? This debut solo show from half of sketch duo LetLuce has been getting rave reviews. Don't miss it. Soho Theatre, £15, book ahead, 10.30pm-11.30pm

Saturday 10 February

Valentine’s Day can be horrible so join some like minds in seeking out some seasonal horror in London.

MUSEUM OF BRANDS: It seems apt that the Museum of Brands, Packaging and Advertising would have a special offer at one of the most commercialised times of the year. State ‘Valentine’s Offer’ at reception and you and your boo can get two-for-one admission tickets. Museum of Brands, £9, book ahead, until 18 February

BLEEDING HEART WALK: Swap your usual hand-holding V-day walk for this horror-filled jaunt around Clerkenwell, where you'll hear heart-wrenchingly gory legends of Bleeding Heart Yard, tales of the divorced statue, scratching fanny, phantom black dogs, cat-fighting ghosts and more. How's that for romance? Bleeding Heart Yard, Clerkenwell, £7, book ahead, 2.30pm-4.30pm

ANY SUGGESTIONS, DOCTOR?: Doctor Who fans should straighten their bow ties and strap up for this Doctor Who parody adventure, led by a team of talented improv actors. Museum of Comedy (Bloomsbury), £12, book ahead, 3pm-4pm, until 11 February

SEANCE: While other attractions are turning up the romance factor at this time of year, the London Dungeon is looking towards the supernatural to get you lot through the door. Book a place with psychic Agnes Guppy, who apparently has become well known for her levitations and transportation during séances. You got to see it to believe it. The London Dungeon, £21, book ahead, until 18 February

Sunday 11 February

With 12 singletons and 10 minutes per date, let's hope sparks fly as you soak up the 38C fresh water.

DAWN CHORUS: Let the wonderfully haunting sounds of flautist Jacquelyn Hynes wash over you as the run rises over Forty Hall Forty Hall Estate, Enfield, £20, book ahead, 7am

MINI MURAL MAKING: Mural artist Naomi Edmondson loves a motivational quote and she shows how to create your own feel good typographic artwork in this creative workshop. Hackney Downs Studios, £22, book ahead, 10.30am-1pm

HOT TUB SPEED DATING: We're not sure how easy the speed bit of this date will be while you're clambering around a hot tub to reach your next date but it sure sounds like a laugh, and there's bubbles (of the boozy variety) too. HotTug House, Islington Boat Club, £40, 2pm, 7pm and 8pm, until 21 February

LDN WRESTLING: If a bunch of men battling it out in a ring is your kind of entertainment, head to the rumble special of LDN Wrestling in Edmonton. Millfield Theatre, £45, book ahead, 3pm-5.30pm