Things To Do This Week In London: 4-10 December 2017

Things to do this week is sponsored by As Nature Intended.

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See the best Christmas classics on the water atop this unique floating pontoon.

FLOATING FILM FESTIVAL: The only problem we foresee with this floating cinema is no-one is going to want to leave those big, squishy beanbags when the final credits roll. Take a date, grab a blanket and get cosy in front of Elf, Love Actually, Home Alone and other cheesy Christmas classics. St Katharine Docks, £10, book ahead, 4-10 December

TATE X PURE FILTH: If 'healthy food for hedonists' sounds like your kind of menu strapline, then book a table at this Tate pop-up. Tasty options include gooey chocolate fudge beetroot muffin, black bean burgers and strawberry acai shake. Tate Modern, level 1, £15, book ahead, until 10 December

BAILEYS TREAT STOP: Love Baileys? Get yourself down to Covent Garden for the Baileys Treat Stop. It's a pop-up cafe/bar where you can customise your Baileys drinks — pick your own toppings and flavours for a Baileys hot chocolate or latte, or go all out with the reindeer cocktail and sup Baileys out of a chocolate reindeer. 21 Slingsby Place, just turn up for the bar, book ahead for cocktail workshops, 4-17 December (closed 11 December)

BAD ROADS: Set in the Ukraine's Donbass region, where war has been raging since 2014, the 90-minute production exposes the harsh realities of war. It'll leave you intermittently laughing at the comedic scenes, then crying at the brutal ones. Royal Court Theatre, £12, book ahead, until 23 December

DICKENS'S CHRISTMAS: Ghost of an Idea: Unwrapping 'A Christmas Carol' explores the origins of Dickens's festive novella and the impact it had on the way we celebrate Christmas today. Read about the exhibition here. The Charles Dickens Museum (Bloomsbury), £9/£7, book ahead, until 25 February

Monday 4 December

The stunning St Luke’s Church in Chelsea will once again throw open its doors on Monday 4 December for Battersea Dogs & Cats Home’s annual Carol Concert.

CAPTURING THE CITY: From the congested streets of Tokyo's Shibuya crossing to the garment factories of Dhaka, to the homeless camps of San Francisco, this photo exhibition presents a snapshot of life across 62 cities. Hear Guardian photographer David Levene discuss his work tonight. Foyles (Charing Cross Road), £8, book ahead, 7pm-8pm

CAROL CONCERT: For a Christmas concert that will in all likelihood melt your heart, head to this Chelsea church, where you'll be greeted by Battersea's tail-wagging pooches, before settling in for a night of carol singing. St Luke's Church (Chelsea), various prices, book ahead, 7pm

LIFE DRAWING: Life drawing is so much more fun when there's an eclectic playlist, a cool venue and a tutor who knows their way around an easel. That tutor is Dan Whiteson, who is leading this class exploring the impact of music on art. Village Underground (Shoreditch), £17.60, book ahead, 7.30pm

Tuesday 5 December

Expect atmospheric music and festive readings from Downton Abbey actor Harry Hadden-Paton and others at this candlelit carol singing.

ALLOY: Whether you've got £10 or £200 in your purse, you should be able to afford something beautiful at this Hackney shop, showcasing the work of nine local jewellers. The Hackney Shop, free entry, just turn up, until 10 December

SHOPPING EVENING: Get your copy of Christmas crime story Portrait of a Murderer by author Martin Edwards signed, enjoy 20% off in the gift shop and browse this pop-up market with a cocktail in hand. British Library, free, just turn up, 4pm-8pm

CAROLS BY CANDLELIGHT: Once you've got a prosecco in one hand, a mince pie in the other and a bunch of talented carol singers in front of you, you can't help but feel festive. Maybe you'll even join in. Proceeds support The Lullaby Trust. St James's Church (Clerkenwell), £20, book ahead, 6.45pm-8pm


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Wednesday 6 December

LIVE JAZZ: Need a mid-week pick-me-up? Ronnie Scott's, the go-to venue for the world's finest jazz musicians, has curated this triple-bill of Afrobeat, spiritual, improv jazz, 2-step and broken beat from Maisha, Binker Golding Quartet and IDIOM. Jazz Cafe (Soho), £13.50, book ahead, 7pm-11pm

GINGERBREAD CITY: Architects and urban planners have swapped bricks and mortar for something a little more, well, edible. See this fictional city made entirely of gingerbread and have a go at building your own gingerbread house if you can resist having a nibble. 27 Thurloe Street, £3 exhibition/£30 gingerbread-making, book ahead, until 22 December

Thursday 7 December

Get your cheese fix at Borough Market.

CHEESE EVENING: Do you gobble cheese like there's no tomorrow? Better hotfoot it to Borough Market tonight, where you can restock your cheese shelf with the help of 20 cheesemongers. Briesult! Borough Market, free entry, just turn up, 6pm-9pm

POP-UP PAINTING: Even Banksy isn't safe from the snowflakes and baubles of  Christmas. Have a go at painting this festive version of Balloon Girl, with a drink of your choice. Urban Meadow (Bayswater), £25.99, book ahead, 7pm-9.30pm

OUTSPOKEN: This stanza-filled slam brings all the poets to the yard. Share your own witterings during the open mic slot or just lend a willing ear. Winter fur (of the faux variety, we're assuming) is encouraged. Cafe del Marsh (Waterloo), £6.86, book ahead, 7.30pm-11pm

FESTIVE FIZZ BAR: Things are getting fizzical at this pop-up bar from Sainsbury's, offering prosecco fans a chance to taste bubbly, charcuterie, cheese and antipasto. La Galleria Pall Mall, free, book ahead, until 9 December

NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS: If you want to take Christmas back to its roots (before John Lewis adverts and celebrity-endorsed Christmas light switch ons) then head to this exhibition inspired by the sights, sounds and scents of Christmas past. Forty Hall (Enfield), £3/£1, book ahead, until 31 December

Friday 8 December

Hackney Showroom undergoes the Pop Up Screen Christmas treatment for December.

FESTIVE FRIDAYS: Stuff your face with tasty nosh, warm your belly with a rum hot chocolate, and pick up handcrafted gift sets from Pirates Grog, while the Capital Concert Brass Band soundtracks your wander around this festive food market. St Katharine Docks (Wapping), free, just turn up, noon-2pm, repeated on 15 December

CINEMA IN THE SNOW: This Hackney venue has done away with its (obviously un-festive) doors and created a snowy, Narnia-style entrance to its festive screenings. Because nothing says Christmas like watching Elf with mulled wine on tap. Hackney Showroom, £20, book ahead, until 24 December

GILBERT & GEORGE: If there's an award for the most expletive riddled exhibition, then we have a winner in the Gilbert & George exhibition at White Cube Bermondsey. If beards and swears are your thing, pick up a copy of the duo's new book The Beard Pictures (£10) and get it signed tonight. White Cube, free entry, just turn up, 6pm-8pm

CONCRETE SOLDIERS: Find out about the lives of those fighting social cleansing to keep their homes in this film about London's council estates. Stick around for the post-screening poetry performance and discussion with housing campaigners. Cinema Museum, £10, book ahead, 7pm-10pm

HUMAN FLOW: Unsurprisingly Monday's live streaming with Ai WeiWei sold out across many of London's cinemas but you can still catch his new documentary, Human Flow today and tomorrow. It's is a powerful and haunting film about the mass migration of people from 23 countries, as they escape famine, climate change or war. Bertha DocHouse, £9/£7, book ahead, 8.30pm, repeated tomorrow at 6pm

LIVING DEAD PARTY: A club night dedicated to playing tunes from musical legends who have died, were ditched by their record label or just disappeared, leaving their one hit wonders behind to the sound of cheering dancefloors everywhere. Bloomsbury Bowling Lane, £5, book ahead, 9pm-3am

THE FINAL FLING: Get your dancing shoes on, text your mates and make sure this last hurrah from music promoter Huntleys + Palmers is a corker. Bussey Building (Peckham), £22.40, book ahead, 10pm-6am

Saturday 9 December

Bring all your moves to the jam-packed night of live swing and jazz in Greenwich.

NATURAL FESTIVE CRAFTS: Swap the madness of Christmas shopping for a relaxing morning making decorations using the greenery from Hyde Park. The LookOut (Hyde Park), £18, book ahead, 10am-noon

GIVE A KNIT: Don't ditch that jumper your grandma bought you two Christmasses ago, just bring it to one of two upcycling workshops: unpicking and refashioning (1pm-4pm) and embellishing and recreating (5.30pm-8.30pm) for the start of your new winter wardrobe. Somerset House, £6, book ahead

HISTORY WALK: It's the site where protesters congregate, national celebrations are held and it's a pretty good place to photobomb tourist selfies, but how much do you really know about Trafalgar Square? Get the lowdown on this guided walk. Charing Cross station, £10/£7, book ahead, 2pm

CHRISTMAS WREATH: No-one likes a bare door at Christmas. Give yours a festive makeover at this DIY wreath-making workshop, where you'll learn techniques and choose a colour scheme before being set loose on the pine cones. M.Y.O @ re-creation (Borough), £30, book ahead, 6.45pm, various dates

CHRISTMAS BALL: Dig out anything with tassels, sequins or feathers for this 1920s-inspired Swing and Jam Christmas Ball, set in a 1930s art deco hall. The Borough Hall (Greenwich), £15/£12, book ahead, 8pm

Sunday 10 December

Swiss cellist Timothée Botbol is accompanying your morning croissant and coffee at Royal Albert Hall.

CLASSICAL COFFEE MORNING: If sober morning raves aren't your thing, grab a pastry and a hot drink and let the outstanding musicians from the Royal College of Music ease you into your Saturday instead. Royal Albert Hall, £13, book ahead, 11am

MUDLARKS: It's not just pebbles and pigeon droppings down by the river. Pick your way over an interesting array of artefacts in these family-friendly foreshore tours. River Thames Foreshore, Millennium Bridge (North side), £10, book ahead, 11am-1pm

THE PINK JUKEBOX: Do you love to boogie on a Sunday night? Then you'll love these dance classes catering for the LGBT community. All abilities welcome. Check out the schedule here. Bishopsgate Institute, £12, book ahead, 2pm-7pm

Funzing

Fun things to do with our friends and sponsor Funzing.

The Harry Potter Christmas Tour


Get sorted into one of the four magical houses of Hogwarts, and go in exploration of the city’s famous filming locations on this 2-hour walking tour. You’ll meet your guide outside the Palace Theatre, where Harry Potter and the Cursed Child is showing, and set off on your journey across town - following in the footsteps of Deatheaters, visiting the inspiration for Knocturn Alley, and marvelling at the Ministry of Magic. And you better brush up on your Potter knowledge, because you can earn points for your house along the way, by taking part in trivia quizzes. The winners? You’ll find out when the tour ends at Platform 9 3/4… Get tickets

Unveil the Full Body Orgasm This Christmas


Become more connected to your body and learn how to express yourself sexually is this workshop open to both males and females. Fully clothed and without touch, you'll learn how to utilise ancient practices to build a strategy to experience a full-body orgasm whenever you feel like it. For more information and to get tickets: http://bit.ly/2uhTZ5U (sponsor) Get tickets

East London Food Tour


Feast on the tastes of the East End... Chomp on pie and mash from a restaurant that's been open since 1900, and visit Russell Brand's not-for-profit café. There are seven stops in the food and drink tour across Shoreditch and Hoxton, so you better come hungry! Get tickets

Psychology of Attraction


Sex & Relationship mentor Colin Richards will will explain how our early life influences effect our attractions to others and our subsequent sexual behaviours. Colin will also then show you how by adopting a new way of listening and communicating, you can go a long way to overcoming repeated behaviour patterns to achieve the relationship and sexual connection you really want. Get tickets