What we’re reading.
- Okay, Let’s Run the Numbers On That Latest Bullsh*t 'Stop Eating Pret and Save a Flat Deposit' Story Shall We?
- Where did London's parakeets come from?
- Metropolitan Police finally doing something about the moped crime-wave.
- Grenfell community could take over Notting Hill police station.
Things to do
GUITARWRIST: On the search for a gift for a music fan? All the fan memorabilia in this jewellery collection is made from used guitar strings, which have been donated by international artists, from Duran Duran to The Darkness. 2 Newburgh Street, £40-£500, just turn up, until 5 January
GILBERT & GEORGE. Check out the latest work from provocative art duo Gilbert & George, at an exhibition which launches tonight. You'll leave with a totally new perspective on beards and you can even purchase six new snazzy poster designs to brighten up your walls. White Cube Bermondsey, free, just turn up, 6pm-9pm
UNITED NATIONS SHORTS: Acid attacks in India and the logistical supply chain behind the former Calais refugee camp are topics explored at this stimulating night of short films and debate. Cinema Museum, free-£5, book ahead, 6.30pm
NERD NIGHT: The Japafication of food, why mobiles have changed everything but the movies, and the invention of lesbianism are topics discussed at this night of entertaining, informative talks to feed the brain. The Backyard Comedy Club, £8, book ahead, 6.30pm
VAGINA TALK. It's been a long time coming but a Vagina Museum is finally opening in the UK. The woman behind the project, Florence Schechter, discusses the current inequality between male and female genitalia and why now is the right time to launch this museum dedicated to lady parts. Haunt (Stoke Newington), £12, book ahead, 7pm-9pm
SINGLES LIFE DRAWING: Take a break from the dating apps, step out of your comfort zone and into this life drawing class, where you can explore your creative side and practice your chat-up lines. Drink Shop & Do (King's Cross), £19.70-£34.57, book ahead, 7pm-9.30pm
POETRY UNPLUGGED: Find a willing audience for your carefully crafted words (sign ups between 6.45pm-7.15pm) or just bring your ears to this popular open mic night at the newly refurbed Poetry Cafe. £5/£4, just turn up, 7.30pm
LIVE MUSIC: Get your groove on to global rhythms and thumping contemporary beats from European and African based collective, Afro Celt Sound System. Barbican, £27.50, book ahead, 7.30pm
COMEDY: Guaranteed to make you feel better about your life, Sarah Bennetto talks us through 50 dumb life decisions she's made in this hilariously dark new standup show. Pleasance Theatre, £10, book ahead, 7.45pm
PUB CRAWL DOC: In 1984, four men walked into a pub. No, this isn't the start of a bad joke but the beginnings of a record-breaking mission to visit as many UK pubs as possible. 33 years later, this documentary tells their story. The Hen & Chickens Theatre Bar (Islington), £5, book ahead, 9pm-10pm
Good cause of the day: Volunteer at Crisis at Christmas in London
It's a tough life being homeless, but imagine not having a roof over your head during the coldest, wettest months. Whether you're a dab hand in the kitchen, are skilled with a pair of scissors or can lend a listening ear, Crisis needs you and your skills to see homeless people through the darkest months. Check out the roles available and apply here.
Fun things to do with our friends and sponsor Funzing...
London is a city of incredible transformation. With structural remains that date back to ancient history still in existence, this unique walking tour takes in Lost London in all its former glory. From the Titanic booking office to the graveyards of man's best friend, you'll discover the weird and wonderful places that used to exist in the capital but are now only committed to memory. Using old photographs, newspaper cuttings and stories from the past, you'll be amazed at what has largely been written out of our history books... Get tickets
Take to the waters and glide about in this beginner paddleboarding session. By the end of it, you'll be standing up and paddling solo, and there's plenty of help on hand to improve your technique. Change of clothes required. Get tickets
Cross gas lit alleyways and stroll by ancient pubs as you discover forgotten parts of London. See the world's smallest police station and visit London's most superstitious hotel on a walking tour covering everything weird, wonderful and London. £12 Get tickets
The afterlife is an intriguing subject, but how close to ghosts do we truly want to get? For those with a fascination of all things spooky, test your limits with The Westminster Ghost Walk. You'll explore this deeply historic and fascinating area of London and hear tales of ghosts, poltergeists and body snatchers along the way. Your experienced guide will lead you through dark alleyways, haunted buildings and human burial grounds - sharing the chilling secrets London has long been hiding in its past. Get tickets